Thursday, November 17, 2016

Moose's Weekly Picks

I started out strong last week, but faded in the late games to finish at 7-7 for the week.  Not a complete catastrophe, but things looked so promising in the early offing.  Oh well, the work goes on.  Let's keep the good vibes going this week.

NEW ORLEANS (+3.5) at CAROLINA: Both of these teams got stung by some late-game heroics by their opponents last week.  Carolina is starting to somewhat resemble the Super Bowl runner ups from last year though.  I like them to knock off the Saints on Thursday night.  PICK: Carolina Ribs

TENNESSEE (+3) at INDIANAPOLIS: Marcus Mariota and Demarco Murray demolished the Packers last week.  This week they face a similar team in the Colts with AFC South bragging rights on the line.  The Titans keep rolling.  PICK: Tennessee

JACKSONVILLE (+6.5) at DETROIT: Who would have thought the Lions would be at the top of the NFC North heap in week 11?  Not me, but here we are.  #notmyjimcaldwell  PICK: Detroit

TAMPA BAY (+7.5) at KANSAS CITY: Fat Andy and his boys are 4-0 at home this season, but the Bucs are 3-1 on the road.  This should be a good game, but I think Andy has some tricks up his sleeve for friend of the blog Jameis Winston.  Look for Tyreek "Reek" Hill to have a big game.  PICK: Kansas

CHICAGO (+7.5) at NYG: The G-Men need to take advantage of all of these home games they have now because four out of their last six are on the road.  No Alshon Jeffery for Chicago?  No thanks.  PICK: NYG
JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: It is well known that people in the midwest are much fatter than people on the East coast.  Probably the deep dish pizza.  That should give the Giants the edge.  PICK: NYG

ARIZONA (+2) at MINNESOTA: Oh dolly are the Minnesota Vikings reeling.  Four losses in a row and now they get a hungry Cardinals team.  Sam Bradford might die in this game.  PICK: Arizona (No Doubter)

BUFFALO (+2.5) at CINCINNATI: The Bengals are such a boring team.  If AJ Green doesn't have 200 yards and 2 touchdowns they don't win.  Look for Rex and the boys to run them over.  PICK: Buffalo

BALTIMORE (+7) at DALLAS: God I thought the Steelers had the Cowboys beaten last week.  I don't think the Ravens have the firepower to stay with them this week.  PICK: DALLAS
JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: Similar to the city of Baltimore, the majority of the population of the Ravens are criminals.  Those are just facts.  I saw the Wire.  PICK: DALLAS

PITTSBURGH (-8) at CLEVELAND: Nothing boosts your spirits after a tough loss like a game against the Brownies.  Pittsburgh should be right back in the mix for the AFC North after this week.  PICK: Pittsburgh

MIAMI (-1.5) at LA RAMS: Goff dynasty baby!  The Rams average 15 points a game.  That's bad.  Time to see what the kid can do.  I personally think he might suck.  PICK: Dolphins

NEW ENGLAND (-13) at SAN FRANCISCO: Chip managed to knock off the Pats last season, but not so this year.  Brady is back home in California, and out for blood after a tough home loss last week.  Chipper can put that ninth straight loss on the board.  PICK: NEP

PHILADELPHIA (+6.5) at SEATTLE: The Eagles showed resolve in a big win against the Falcons last week, but that was at home.  This team doesn't perform well on the road, let alone in one of the toughest road environments in the NFL.  I gotta go with Seattle.  PICK: Seattle
JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: Moose picked against his own team?  Man he is a bigger fraud than RFK.  I like Seattle too though.  PICK: Seattle

GREEN BAY (+2.5) at WASHINGTON: Green Bay just doesn't have it this year.  They are similar to the Colts in that they don't seem to address areas of weakness in the offseason well at all.  Look for that bitch boy Kirk to have another good game at home.  PICK: Washington
JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: Big game for the Skins.  Might have to watch with that pretty boy Shears.  Gotta go for the cheeseheads here in honor of my jeans stench.  PICK: Green Bay

OAKLAND (-5.5) vs. HOUSTON: Hola! This game is coming at you live from Mexico City!  Look for Los Asaltantes to score in a muy rapido fashion against Los Tejanos.  Senor Derek Coche will be playing the part of Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna as he massacres the boys in rojo y azul.  PICK: Oakland

OVERALL: 47-52-3

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Moose's Weekly Picks

The bye weeks are over (I think) and teams are beginning to make their playoff push as we enter the second half of the season.  We ended last week in the black.  Let's go for two in a row.

CLEVELAND (+8) at BALTIMORE: I took Cleveland +7 against Dallas last week.  Damn right I'm taking them +8 this week.  They won't win but they will keep it close enough.  PICK: Cleveland

HOUSTON (+1.5) at JACKSONVILLE: Houston was on bye last week.  They should be ready for the high-powered Jaguars offense.  Could this be the last stop for the Gus Bus?  PICK: Houston

KANSAS CITY (+3) at CAROLINA: I'm sick and tired of hearing the Panthers complain about hits on Cam Newton.  Do a better job of protecting his ass.  PICK: Kansas

DENVER (+3) at NEW ORLEANS: I was surprised the Broncos lost last week.  I think they right the ship against the Saints this week.  The Dome is always tricky though.  PICK: Denver

LOS ANGELES (+1.5) at NYJ: Jeff Fisher is now two games under .500.  He desperately needs a win.  Could Jared Goff make his first appearance of the season?  What about Bryce Petty?  It would make this shitty game a lot more interesting if they did.  PICK: LAR

ATLANTA (-2) at PHILADELPHIA: The Eagles were who we thought they were last week.  Dougie P's decisions are starting to get more and more confusing.  Somehow though, home games have managed to cure all ills.  Julio Jones will no doubt romp, but I think the Iggs get the win.  PICK: Philadelphia
JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: This game in Philly?  I couldn't walk anywhere in that city.  Too dangerous.  I'd have to take an Uber all the way through.  PICK: Atlanta

MINNESOTA (+2.5) at WASHINGTON: Minnesota's offensive line is abysmal, and Sam Bradford looks like the Sam Bradford we all know and love.  Look for Ryan Kerrigan to light him up at some point.  PICK: Washington
JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: I wonder if those pussies Dump and Shears will want to meet up for the game.  Come to think of it, Dump has only hung out with me once since he moved here.  Maybe it's because my jeans smell like cheese.  PICK: Washington

GREEN BAY (-2.5) at TENNESSEE: Bad loss to the Colts last week, but A-Rod and co. look to be working better on offense.  I think the Pack pull this one out.  PICK: Green Bay

CHICAGO (-1.5) at TAMPA BAY: The Bears are a different team with Cutty from the cut at quarterback.  However, I think Jameis should be able to eat their defense alive.  PICK: Tampa (No Doubter)

MIAMI (+4) at SAN DIEGO: Both of these teams have come on strong lately and could make a surprise playoff push.  Jayjay Ajayi is a monster out of the Phins backfield.  I like Big Phil and the Chargers at home though.  PICK: San Diego

SAN FRANCISCO (+13.5) at ARIZONA: The first big line of the year.  Why didn't Cleveland get at least this much last week?  It's no secret that I am enjoying the denouement of Chip Kelly.  I hope they lose by 30 in the Desert.  PICK: Arizona

DALLAS (+2.5) at PITTSBURGH: The one-time Super Bowl contending Steelers have now lost three in a row and are sitting at 4-4.  They are at home, need a win, and Big Ben is presumably healthy.  I think they knock Dallas off this week.  PICK: Pittsburgh
JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: I didn't think Primanti Brothers was anything special.  The second I got my order I said "not sure about the bread."  Mighty Subs or GTFO.  PICK: Dallas

SEATTLE (+7.5) at NEP: Game of the week right here.  BB is 12-4 with the Patriots after a bye week.  They go 12-4 every season though so that doesn't say much.  The Seahawks have played better on offense, but the defense is giving up more points than they have in the past.  That doesn't bode well against the potent NEP offense.  PICK: NEP

CINCINNATI (pick em) at NYG: NYG played well last week, but would have lost if the Eagles had made the right calls.  Cincy is 1-3 on the road this year.  The G Men are 3-1 at home.  Look for Ladell to have a big game. PICK: NYG
JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: I once saw my friend Moose puke all over a garage in Cincinnati.  I would have taken a perv pic, but my phone was dead.  It was nine in the morning.  PICK: NYG

LAST WEEK: 6-5-1
OVERALL: 40-45-3

Friday, November 4, 2016

Moose's Weekly Picks

Well folks, this season is not going so great.  I was 6-9 two weeks ago, and missed last week's action altogether.  Another shaky week and this blog could fall completely by the wayside.  I will try to be more committed going forward.  One game at a time.  Let's go!

JACKSONVILLE (+7.5) at KANSAS CITY: Interesting game with Foles under center.  He looked ok last week, and we know what he is capable of.  Easier game with him at home.  PICK: Kansas

DETROIT (+6) at MINNESOTA: Minnesota looked invincible for five weeks.  Now they look putrid.  I think Detroit adds to their woes here.  PICK: Detroit

PHILADELPHIA (+2.5) at NYG: It is known that this Eagles team does not travel well.  With Josh Huff being released this week, the offense becomes somehow even worse.  Also, I am extremely worried about the Giants edge rushers.  But it could also be one of those games where Dougie P completely redeems himself.  I gotta call it like I see it though.  PICK: NYG

JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: I'm not a big cheesesteak guy.  I like the components, but never together.  However, it's well known that New York doesn't have any good corner delis.  PICK: Philadelphia

DALLAS (-7) at CLEVELAND: I don't know what it is, but for some reason this game is raising a flag in my head as too obvious.  There is no way Dallas loses though, right?  Something is weird; the line should be double.  Vegas knows something. I can't believe I'm doing this. PICK: Cleveland

JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: I picked Cleveland to win the World Series, can't believe they didn't win.  Tribe!  Most people from Dallas are not actually from there, so I'll take them.  PICK: Dallas

NYJ (+3.5) at MIAMI: Jay Ajayi is a beast.  Or is it just that he has braids so I assume he is really good and fast?  Gimme that fish!  PICK: Miami

PITTSBURGH (-1) at BALTIMORE: Rumor has it Ben is back this week.  The Ravens lost to the damn Jets two weeks ago.  That's bad.  PICK: Pittsburgh

NEW ORLEANS (-4.5) at SAN FRANCISCO: Five of the 49ers six losses have come by double digits.  Things are not looking great for the old Chipper.  PICK: New Orleans

CAROLINA (-3) at LA RAMS: The Rams are 3-4.  You know what that means.  PICK: LAR

INDIANAPOLIS (+7.5) at GREEN BAY: When is Pagano going to get canned?  Meanwhile the Packers are slowly putting it together.  PICK: Green Bay

TENNESSEE (+5) at SAN DIEGO: I feel like the Chargers are this year's Titans for me.  I don't think I've picked them correctly all season.  They fact that they are playing the Titans makes it even worse.  PICK: San Diego

DENVER (+1) at OAKLAND: Oakland is 6-2 and atop the AFC West, but look at their six wins.  The Jags, Ravens, Bucs, Saints, Chargers and Titans are a combined 18-27.  I'll take Denver with Demarcus Ware back in action.  PICK: Denver (No Doubter)

JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: Akeem Talib plays for Denver.  He makes bad decisions.  I'm going with the Raiders.  Their owner seems like a real bozo.  PICK: Oakland

BUFFALO (+7) at SEATTLE: Throw the damn ball to Jimmy Graham for me!  Seattle is a little dinged up this week.  I think they get the win at home, but it will be close.  PICK: Buffalo

OVERALL: 34-40-2

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Moose's Weekly Picks

7-6-2 last week.  Baby steps back to the promised land.  Injuries have affected a lot of games this week, so the picks become that much more difficult.  To the action!

CHICAGO (+7.5) at GREEN BAY: The Packers looked miserable last week, and lost their home mojo.  Everybody is starting to question Aaron Rodgers.  Does he bust out of his slump this week?  Methinks not.  PICK: Chicago

NYG (-3) at LA (London) RAMS: Good win for the G-Men last week despite more antics from Ladell Beckman.  I understand that the criticism of him is probably overblown, but when somebody acts like that regularly you can tell that they are very concerned about what others think of them.  Therefore Ladell is already in his own head.  With that said, I think the G-Men put Fisher back on the hot seat this week.  PICK: NYG

JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: "Can't trust a country that calls french fries "chips".  Chips are the greatest snack ever invented, although I try not to eat a lot of them." PICK: Giants

MINNESOTA (-2.5) at PHILADELPHIA: Two bad losses in a row for the Iggs.  The Jim Schwartz effect of taking a lot of penalties is starting to rear its ugly head.  Some are calling this a trap game for the Vikes, but I think the Eagles probably end up beating themselves here.  PICK: Minnesota

JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: "People say I look a lot like Carson Wentz because of the red hair and the beard.  If he's anything like me, his knee is probably in extreme pain from pulling his pants up in the bathroom.  So I'll take the Vikings." PICK: Minnesota

NEW ORLEANS (+6.5) at KANSAS CITY: Interesting dichotomy here: one team with a great offense and no defense versus a team with a good defense and minimal offense.  This is a tough one.  I'll take Fat Andy at home.  PICK: Kansas

WASHINGTON (+1.5) at DETROIT: This one seems like Vegas knows something we don't.  Washington has won four in a row and is getting points?  I'm stupid enough to fall for that I suppose.  PICK: Washington

JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: "The Skins have been cursed by Shears this year.  That probably has something to do with the black smoke I saw from 200 miles away the other night.  Bad omen." PICK: Washington

CLEVELAND (+10) at CINCINNATI: Toilet Bowl 2016.  Cincinnati has lost all discipline whatsoever, and the Brownies are still looking for a win this season.  They might not win this weekend, but they cover at least.  PICK: Cleveland (No Doubter)

BUFFALO (-3) at MIAMI: Buffalo has looked like a juggernaut the last few weeks.  Seems like the perfect time for a dumbfounding loss for Rex Ryan, right?  PICK: Miami

OAKLAND (+1) at JACKSONVILLE: Long trip for the Raiders, but I think they get the job done in the Bold New City of the South.  The return of Latavius Murray should help give the run game of the Raiders a little juju.  Also, I never bet against the van.  PICK: Oakland

INDIANAPOLIS (+2.5) at TENNESSEE: I have never seen a more impotent finish to a game than the Colts pathetic squandering of the lead against the Texans last week.  Every season it seems like the Colts come into the year with glaring weaknesses at some positions, and they never seem to address them.  Its just the same cast of characters every year.  Pagano has gotta Pagan-GO.  PICK: Tennessee

BALTIMORE (+1) at NYJ: Geno Smith.  PICK: Baltimore

SAN DIEGO (+6.5) at ATLANTA: Tough loss for Atlanta last week, but they showed a lot of moxie in one of the toughest places to play.  I think they take care of the Chargers pretty easily this week.  PICK: Atlanta

TAMPA BAY (-2) at SAN FRANCISCO: It's been a while since we had the Jameis TD counter.  Purely an oversight on my part.  We still love Jameis here on the blog.  We do not love Chip Kelly though.  Fat toad.  PICK: Tampa

NEP (-7) at PITTSBURGH: No Big Ben for Pittsburgh means that this should be a cakewalk for Brady and the boys.  Hopefully the Brady/Edelman connection is rekindled this week. PICK: NEP

SEATTLE (+2) at ARIZONA: Ooh man this is a tough one.  We are in the DESERT, but I suggest we pump the brakes on saying the Cardinals are back.  They beat 49ers and the Jets.  A highschool team could do that.  Gimme Seattle and the points.  PICK: Seattle

JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: "Arizona?  Isn't that where all those lungers went in that movie that wasn't as good as Wyatt Earp?  I bet there are some good honky tonks there."  PICK: Arizona

HOUSTON (+7.5) at DENVER: Denver has been shaky the past two weeks after looking unbeatable for the first four.  I think the absence of Demarcus Ware is really hurting them on defense.  Also, Trevor Siemian is a rookie after all.  Call me crazy, but I think Brock Ostreicher and the boys pull off an upset in Denver this week.  PICK: Houston

LAST WEEK: 7-6-2
OVERALL: 28-31-2

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Moose's Weekly Picks

And we're back!  After an inconspicuous two week absence we return to the game we love so much.  This hasn't been a great year so far, but there is still plenty of time to right the ship.  Now that each team is starting to show its identity, let's try to really nail down these week six matchups.

DENVER (-3) at SAN DIEGO: Trevor the Kid is back for the Broncos tonight, that should put the team at ease after a tough loss to Atlanta last week.  The Chargers meanwhile have injuries at several key spots.  PICK: Denver

CINCINNATI (+9) at NEP: The Bengals looked feckless and weak against the rough and tumble offensive line of the Cowboys last week.  Now they have to head to an even tougher place to play in New England in Brady's first home game since returning from his suspension.  PICK: NEP (No Doubter)

BALTIMORE (+3) at NYG: The NYG have lost three in a row, and two tough road contests.  They should rebound against the Ravens at home.  PICK: NYG

JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: "The Giants don't run the ball outside enough which really confounds their offense.  I've got Baltimore steamrolling them." PICK: Baltimore

CAROLINA (-3) at NEW ORLEANS: Carolina is definitely suffering from the Super Bowl hangover.  They are on a short week and now have to head to the Dome.  I think the beat goes on and the Panthers fall further behind the 8 ball.  PICK: New Orleans

PITTSBURGH (-7.5) at MIAMI: The Steelers have responded to the drubbing the Eagles handed them with two 20+ point wins.  They should be too much for Miami to handle this week.  PICK: Pittsburgh

JACKSONVILLE (+2.5) at CHICAGO: Barf.  PICK: Jacksonville

SAN FRANCISCO (+8) at BUFFALO: True wildcard game here.  Kaepernick is IN, Gabbert is OUT.  I think Shady runs wild on Chip Kelly's boys.  PICK: Buffalo

LA RAMS (+3) at DETROIT: Detroit can beat anybody if they get the calls that they got at home last week.  Two mediocre coaches doing battle here.  PICK: Detroit

CLEVELAND (+7) at TENNESSEE: Here we are in week 6 and there are already so many teams whose seasons are over.  Cleveland is obviously one of them.  Meanwhile, I am over here with my Carson Wentz jersey (soon to be arriving from China) with plenty to play for still.  Thank god for the Browns.  PICK: Tennessee

PHILADELPHIA (-2.5) at WASHINGTON: The Iggs got screwed by the refs last week to be sure, but they also didn't look so great for much of the game.  Are they beginning to show their weaknesses? Quite possible.  I can't in good conscience take them on the road while giving points.  PICK: Washington

JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: "Curse of RAT strikes again here as the Skins lose on the final series.  Now, should I watch the game at 4 Courts or Clydes?" PICK: Philadelphia

KANSAS CITY (pick em) at OAKLAND: The Raiders are riding their fancy Carr to victory.  Should it break down, they always have a nice van as a backup option.  PICK: Raiders

ATLANTA (+6.5) at SEATTLE: The Falcons have racked up some nice wins in hostile environments so far.  In Seattle after a Seahawks bye week is a different story altogether.  I think they get their wings clipped this week.  PICK: Seattle

JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: "Mark Ryan, good BC product at qb for Atlanta.  However, the Falcons offense seems a little unwieldy, and the defense is basically useless." PICK: Seattle

DALLAS (+4.5) at GREEN BAY: The Dallas offense is legit.  Even without Dez Bryant they made it look easy against the Bengals last week.  This game has all the makings of a shootout, and since the Packers are at home I will give them the nod.  PICK: Green Bay

JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: "I wonder what kind of cheese the Packers fans wear on their heads.  Its well known that Swiss doesn't keep well in cold temperatures.  Probably some kind of gruyere." PICK: Dallas

INDIANAPOLIS (+3) at HOUSTON: The AFC South is an abomination.  PICK: Indy

NYJ (+7.5) at ARIZONA: Oh yes baby, we are in the desert.  The Cardinals looked putrid for a few weeks, but I think big bad Bruce Arians has turned the corner with the team.  Meanwhile, Fitzy is the Fitzy of old, throwing numerous INTs.  PICK: Arizona

OVERALL: 21-25

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Moose's Weekly Picks

Not a great week last week, and I missed the Thursday night game again this week.  Time to kick this thing into high gear in week 3. 

DENVER (+3.5) at CINCINNATI: Denver had looked flawless at home so far this season even with a rookie quarterback.  I'm thinking young Trevor might take his lumps on the road this week though.  PICK: Cincy

OAKLAND (-1.5) at TENNESSEE:  I feel like these teams play each other every week.  Didn't they play each other in week 1?  Probably.  You know I'm staying with my boy Mark Davis.  PICK: Oakland

ARIZONA (-4.5) at BUFFALO: The clock is ticking for Rex.  PICK: Arizona

BALTIMORE (-2.5) at JACKSONVILLE: Baltimore hasn't done much offensively this season, but is 2-0 nonetheless.  The Jags have yet to take it to the limit or steal the show.  PICK: Baltimore

CLEVELAND (+9.5) at MIAMI: Miami threatened in the second half last week, and Tannehill seems to be establishing some rapport with his young receivers.  I wonder if the Browns are still happy about passing on Carson Wentz.  PICK: Miami

WASHINGTON (+3.5) at NYG:  Tricky game.  The Skins need a win on the road.  I think Josh Norman will probably overshadow the team needs though, and Kirk Cousins will continue to show regression.  PICK: NYG

DETROIT (+6.5) at GREEN BAY: The Packers have looked shaky the first two weeks to be sure.  I think playing at home will cure some of those ills.  PICK: Green Bay

MINNESOTA (+6.5) at CAROLINA: Tough test for Sam Bradford on the road here.  I don't think the Vikings can keep up with the Panthers offense.  It should be closer than 6.5 though.  PICK: Vikings

SAN FRANCISCO (+10) at SEATTLE: Welcome to the NFC West Chip Kelly.  The Seahawks right the ship at home.  PICK: Seattle

LOS ANGELES (+3.5) at TAMPA BAY: Jameis was terrible last week, while the Rams stunned Seattle.  A big win by Jeff Fisher is usually followed by a confounding loss, so I'll take the Bucs.  PICK: Tampa

PITTSBURGH (-4) at PHILADELPHIA: Huge test for the Iggs here.  The defense has been great so far, but I don't think they will be able to keep up with the Steelers offense.  On offense, just let Carson Wentz survive.  PICK: Pittsburgh

NYJ (+3) at KANSAS CITY: The Jets are starting to look pretty good overall with several key players returning to their lineup.  I expect this one to be a field goal-y kind of game.  Gimme the Jets.  PICK: NYJ

SAN DIEGO (+2) at INDIANAPOLIS: Indy had a chance last week in Denver, but got burned by a few big turnovers.  Meanwhile, I think Phil Rivers is going to have to hand off to Phil Rivers, and pass to Phil Rivers today.  PICK: Indy

CHICAGO (+6.5) at DALLAS: Chicago is an abomination of a team.  PICK: Dallas (No Doubter)

ATLANTA (+2.5) at NEW ORLEANS: In the dome.  Tricky one.  I'll take Matthew Ice.  PICK: Atlanta

OVERALL: 14-17

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Moose's Weekly Picks

Ok, after an 8-8 week last week I bricked and forgot to make my posts by Thursday afternoon.  I can assure you though, I did pick the Jets in that game.  I won't take credit for it because that would be dishonest, but the proof is in the pudding:
See, I told you so.  Too bad for me,but now I have 15 games to make up for that gaffe and am essentially on even footing after week one.  I am 0-1 in the No Doubter column after the Pats pulled the upset in the Desert of all places.  Need to be better there.  Let's get into it.

TENNESSEE (+6.5) at DETROIT: The Lions won in a thriller against the Colts last week, and the Titans are basically a mini version of the Colts.  With that said, 6.5 seems like a lot to lay on the line.  I'll go Tight-ones here.  PICK: Tennessee

KANSAS CITY (+1) at HOUSTON: Speaking of thrillers, Fat Andy did some damage to his heart last week after that comeback against San Diego.  The Texans handled the Bears, but I'm still not sold on Ostreicher.  PICK: Kansas

MIAMI (+6) at NEP: The Pats defense seemed legit in week one against Arizona.  If they could bottle up 'Zona, they should have no problem at home against Tannehill.  Tannehill is kind of a bottle guy anyway.  I just hope big Suh doesn't try to kill Garoppolo.  PICK: NEP

BALTIMORE (-4.5) at CLEVELAND: The Browns versus the old Browns.  While they sprung from the same womb, the two teams couldn't be more different.  The Browns looked putrid last week, and RGIII is already out for the year (LOL).  Meanwhile, the Ravens have an ELITE Joe Flacco and seem healthy.  At least the Indians play at 1:10pm.  PICK: Baltimore (No Doubter)

CINCINNATI (+3) at PITTSBURGH: Bad blood here.  Hoping to get to see a little bit of this game.  James Harrison is on one of these teams, I cant remember which one.  He will aim to decapitate someone from the other team.  Other than that, these teams are extremely similar.  Gimme Ben in a pinch though.  PICK: Pittsburgh

DALLAS (+3) at WASHINGTON: I hate both of these teams.  At this point, I think I hate Washington more.  PICK: Dallas

NEW ORLEANS (+4) at NYG: This was a shootout last year.  I'm thinking that a change of location and a somewhat improved Giants defense will change the outcome a bit.  I shall choose the NYG.  PICK: NYG

SAN FRANCISCO (+12.5) at CAROLINA: File Chip Kelly under: things I hate almost as much as the Cowboys and Redskins.  With that said, 12.5 points is so much.  I think I'm gonna take the Chipper.  PICK: SF

TAMPA BAY (+7) at ARIZONA: Oh my god.  Jameis in the Desert.  Trying to decide between these two outstanding forces has me more stuck than Homer in the vending machines.
PICK: Tampa

SEATTLE (-5.5) at LAR: It seems well established that we shouldn't trust Jeff Fisher's Rams after, without hyperbole, the worst performance I have ever seen last week.  People seem to think that the Rams will come out and beat Seattle this week.  I'm not buying it.  Bury the Rams, fire Fisher.  PICK: Seattle

INDIANAPOLIS (+6.5) at DENVER: Indy has seemed to have Denver's number recently.  The Colts have won 8 of the last 9 games between these two teams.  After dispatching the Panthers last week, the Broncos look like world beaters.  I think Trevor Siemian sees how the other half lives in week 2.  PICK: Indy

ATLANTA (+4) at OAKLAND: Huge win in Week 1.  A man, a plan, a van.  OAKLAND.  PICK: Oakland

JACKSONVILLE (+3) at SAN DIEGO: Eww.  Gimme the Jags to take it to the limit.  PICK: Jacksonville

GREEN BAY (-1) at MINNESOTA: Salami Sam looks good in purple, but I think the Vikes will be blue after this game.  He is going to struggle.  PICK: Green Bay

PHILADELPHIA(+3) at CHICAGO: I get excited about our quarterback every year, but after last week I am thinking about Super Bowls.  Delusional Eagles fan level is probably at about 83% after only one week.  Keep it going against a bad defense this week.  PICK: Philadelphia