Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Detroit Lions Bail Out Plan

What's our record? 0 and 16. 0 and 16!? How the hell did we win 0? It's a miracle. It's a miracle.

The Detroit Lions set a record in futility in 2008 going 0-16. However bleak things might appear in Detroit with the auto crisis, which all started with the discontinuation of the 2 door Ford Explorer in my opinion, the Lions, the Tigers fall from grace, and the city's unbelievable dismissal from the running for "Titletown USA" there is hope for these Lions yet. Here for my fans and loyal followers, Dumper and Ethan 128 (Ethan, if you are out there, and are reading this blog, please give me a sign), are my solutions for the Detroit Lions decades of futility.

First, the Detroit brass needs to win back the fan base. They took the first big step in doing so when they fired Matt Millen, who somehow immediately landed a job as an analyst with NBC. How did he manage to pull this off? What on his resume made NBC want to hire him? Why did NBC think that anything that he said on tv would sound intelligent after EVERYTHING he said and did in Detroit for 7 years was wrong? Regardless, the Fire Millen Movement in Detroit was satisfied and a large portion of the fan base ceased their moratorium on Lion's Football. Unfortunately, the rest of the season unfolded about the same way it would have if Millen was there and the Lions had no choice but to fire Rod Marinelli. The first solution for Detroit, in my opinion is to hire a black head coach.

Hiring a black head coach makes a lot of sense to me in Detroit. The city itself is 84% African-American, and those African-American residents are no doubt many of the Lions fans who have lost their faith in the team over the years. Hiring an African-American coach would give those fans someone that they could identify with and give the team a much needed shot in the arm in the eyes of the league. Moreover, there are a lot of African-American coaching candidates out there who many writers and analysts feel are underrated and are being passed over by other teams. Finally, and this might be my most opinion based point of this argument, hiring a black coach would take the heat off of the franchise for a little while. Because the Rooney Rule is still in its infancy, and because there are so few black head coaches in pro sports, I think it is probably still considered maybe not racist but certainly indefensible in a way to criticize a team for hiring a black head coach. This is just what the Detroit Lions need, the angry mob of fans and critics to shut up. Hiring an African-American head coach would help the Lions win back a good portion of their fan base and buy the organization time to re-build in my opinion. I hope my main man "Cool" Ethan agrees with me.

My second solution for Detroit: DO NOT DRAFT A WIDE RECEIVER IN THE FIRST ROUND. Four of the Lions last six first round picks have been wide receivers; Calvin Johnson, Mike Williams, Roy Williams and Charles Rogers. Only one remains with the team. Wide Receivers are high risk/high reward picks and ofter have egos as great as their skill set, which is not what the Lions need right now. They need a new face to the franchise. If I were in the Lions front office I (along with everybody else) would spend the first overall pick on a guy like Matthew Stafford, a character guy without the Heisman Curse who can carry this franchise back to glory. With the remaining first round pick from Dallas I would select a nice offensive tackle who can protect Stafford so that we don't see him running out of the end zone ala Dan Orlovsky (see picture). With their second round pick I would go after a guy like Donald Brown from UConn, and with the two 3rd rounders I would go for a cog in the defensive line and a cornerback. These positions are crucial to the Lions turn around, and character is important trait in all of them. If they all had the character of Ethan128, the Lions would be a superbowl shoe in in '09.

Finally, for the Lions I would tell them to be patient. They have been awful for so long, what's the harm in waiting a few more years for success? This turnaround is not going to happen overnight. Its a process, so don't going throwing big money at a free agents thinking that the playoffs are just around the corner. It could take a few years Grow your team organically and make wise decisions in free agency. Basically, just think about what Matt Millen would do, then do the opposite. Good luck to the Lions in the future and thanks again to my wonderful followers Dumper and Cool Ethan.


  1. I like your thinking, hire someone like Leslie Frazier from the Vikings and add him to the list of Lindsay Hunter All Stars.