Tuesday, January 20, 2009

An Ode to Scal

With football season over in my mind, and baseball season still off in the distance I find myself with little to write about these days. Therefore I will take a suggestion from a friend and talk about the rise of gingers in sports. If we look at some of the great moments in sports in the past few years, we will see that they have all revolved around Ginger athletes. The ring leader of these athletes is no doubt The Man, The Myth, The Living Legend: Scal.

Having witnessed first hand 3 Celtics Playoff games last year, I know how important Brian Scalabrine was to the Celtics title run. He did not play a minute of the playoffs, but he was there to keep the whole team loose with his antics, and his shiny red hair was a beacon of freedom that the Hawks, Cavs, Pistons and Lakers knew they could not hope to overcome. In the 2008-09 season, I have seen Scal play significant time in each game I have gone to. The Celtics season hit a crescendo when Scal swished a 3 pointer from the corner against the Wizards to put the Celts up big. In that same game though Scal went cold, clanging some wide open shots and air balling a 3 from the same spot he had previously swished from. After this (and the mean fans yelling at me and Tom Humplik) the Celtics themselves went cold and have not been the same team since then. The success of the Celtics ebbs and flows with the success of the Scal Man. That is the reason the Celtics pay him $3 million a year. In my opinion the offense should run around Scal, and maybe Doc Rivers. The Big 3 are overrated.

For your entertainment here is a list of other famous ginger athletes:

Kevin Boss- Mat Delano look alike helped lead Giants to 2008 Super Bowl Championship

Bill Walton- Possibly World's Tallest Ginger helped UCLA and Portland Blazers to win many titles

Matt Bonner- The "Red Rocket" guided the Spurs to the 2006-07 NBA Title

Andy Reid- World's Heaviest Ginger has guided the Eagles to 5 NFC Championships in 8 years. Not bad. Certainly not good.

Bobby Kielty- MVG of the World Series Champion Red Sox in 2007

Lou Collins - First Baseman and unquestioned leader of the 1994 AL Champion Minnesota Twins managed by wunderkind Billy Heywood.

Mat Delano- KA beirut tournament champion

Phillip Seymour Hoffman- Champion tornado chaser

Mark McGwire- 70 Home Run Ginger

The Undertaker- WWF Champion

Fat Bastard- Sumo wrestling champion

Judas Iscariot- Betrayed Jesus

As you can see, gingers are taking over the world. My guess is that whichever team has the most gingers will probably win the Super Bowl in a few weeks. Boy am I ready for baseball season. K, bye.


  1. Was the Undertake vs. Kane casket match a ginger showdown for the ages?

  2. This post looks awfully familiar....


    Don't forget about the pride of Birmingham, Michigan (and Bill Walton Look-alike) Alexi Lalas.