Monday, January 12, 2009

Reflections From A Perfect Weekend

Contrary to popular belief, Donovan McNabb was not calling Mrs. McNabb to put on a pot of chunky soup when he picked up the phone on the Giants sideline this weekend. He was in fact calling me to congratulate me on going 3-0 on my picks thus far and to ask me who I liked in the last one. I told him I liked Pittsburgh, and sure enough, here I sit on Monday at a perfect 4-4 in my picks last weekend. The fact that the Sports Guy Bill Simmons got every pick wrong makes it that much sweeter. Perhaps I should change my blog name to "Athletics Man" or "Recreation Dude". Without any further ado, here are some of the observations I have from this weekends divisional matchups.

Turnovers dictated each game on Saturday. Tennessee would have beaten the Ravens if not for a series of turnovers in the red zone. Alge Crumpler's mid-air fumble job sealed the deal for the Ravens and was quite entertaining to watch. I think I remember someone saying that game would come down to a key turnover. In Carolina, somebody must have made up a voodoo doll for the Agin' Cajun Jake Delhomme as his meltdown of epic proportions put a huge smile on my face. I knew the Panthers were way too overhyped. Also, where was Edgerrin James the whole season? And what happened to his grill of all gold? Wasn't he also supposed to put out a rap cd too? The two Saturday games also produce three new classic looks: Kerry Collins Penis Face, Stupid Delhomme Face and my favorite, Stupid Flacco Hair. It looks like Flacco has a trainer pump up his helmet to the point where he almost passes out. Those South Jersey kids are always looking for the newest way to get high. I will put these in my memory bank for next season and mention them whenever fitting.

In the Sunday games we saw several interesting plays, the completion of my perfect weekend, and a WHOLE LOT of Stupid Manning Face. I still think the difference in the Eagles/Giants game was Plaxico Burress, but it looked like the Giants and the Eagles switched identities from the first game they played this season. Instead of the Eagles not being able to get the short first down runs and goal line touchdowns, it was the Giants who were repeatedly stopped on short yardage plays, most notable the two fourth downs. I also thought that Tommy Coughlin, whose "Frozen Face" routine I was disappointed not to see much of, had a very Andy Reid-esque stupid challenge call late in the game. In challenging the spot of the ball on 4th and 1 or whatever it was, he was not guaranteed a first down if he won, and lost his second time out of the half when the play was ruled as called on the field because it was a very accurate spot. I thought that the timeout was way too much to risk in that situation. Maybe his face was too warm and his vision was blurry on the play or something. I must say I was very impressed with how Eli Manning matured this season. He looked much more confident during the regular season and I was starting to worry that he was becoming a star. However, my fears were allayed when I was reunited with the best of the faces, Stupid Manning Face, this weekend. If you are not familiar with stupid Manning face, educate yourself: When either Manning boy is struggling, you can tell by just looking at him. If only Reche Caldwell had been on the field or in the stands somewhere this weekend, we would have had all the crazy faces of the NFL over the past few years.

In Pittsburgh, my boy Ben Roethlisberger shined like the shining star that he is and Pittsburgh had the game pretty well decided by the end of 3. I must admit I didn't watch much of this game, but I was very impressed by what I heard on the radio. Denny "They are who we thought they were" Green's raspy voice was less than ideal for radio I thought as I was driving home on Sunday, but the man certainly knew his stuff. He knew that the muffed punt could not be advanced for a touchdown right away, and he astutely recognized that the Chargers one offensive play in the 3rd quarter must have been some kind of a record. Good job Denny, enjoy a few Coors Lights tonight. The part of this game I did watch looked like a replay of last year's Chargers playoff loss with LT sulking on the sidelines. He is the equivalent of the grim reaper over there for the Chargers. Championship weekend predictions coming on Friday.

Also of note:

Check out the song "Desperation Samba" by Jimmy Buffett. It will have you samba-ing uncontrollably and poking fake finger penises out of your fly at the bar. Trust me.

Check out the movie "Fear" with Marky Mark. It will have you chest punching yourself and photoshopping yourself into someone else's family photo as the dad in no time.

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