Monday, February 16, 2009

Eyes Wide Shaq


A rather lackluster weekend on the sporting schedule became of very personal interest to me. With UConn defending my honor, Brad Penny's spring training debut, and the NBA All Star game skills competition reflecting my previous post about All Star Games, I found a lot to like about the weekend that was in sports.

First, we had the UConn versus Seton Hall game on Saturday afternoon. Much to my delight, the game was shown locally and I was able to witness Hasheem The Dream dominate the Pirates with a near triple double. Moreover, yet another Will Hayes look alike, John Garcia of SHU ("Spanish Will Hayes" or "Guillermo Aiz") had a good game and made me feel even more so that I went wrong somewhere athletically. Unfortunately, as I am writing this I am reeling from a UConn loss to Pittsburgh. I am not worried though, as they have always been a team of thugs who does well in the regular season but chokes in March and April. UConn may not be #1 by the end of the week, but I would still pick them against any team in the NCAA. The refereeing was also a joke in tonight's game.

Saturday night saw the NBA Skills Competition, as well as the return of my bowling game at Boston Bowl in Dorchester (eep). I watched the ho hum competitions with a lack of interest as I was crushing pins in between Asian and Indian bowlers. This bowling alley was a real Noah's Ark, at least two of every race. Who would have thought that bowling could be such a great unifier. As for the Skills Competition, I was not impressed, especially with the dunk contest. Nate Robinson once again stole a dunk title by jumping over somebody. We have seen this so many times before. We have seen Vince Carter jump over a taller guy before. Just because he did that dumb superman dance and was dressed up as kryptonite, he was able to woo the judges and win(see my post a few weeks ago about this). So lame. At least Dwight Howard was taller than Spud Webb though. In the actual All-Star Game, the only thing that stood out to me was Shaq's bizarre "Eyes Wide Shut"-like dance during the introductions. Perhaps all the All-Stars had a crazy orgy after the game with Tom Cruise. I feel bad for whoever had to bang Yao.

Finally, in perhaps the most important bit of news this weekend we found out what number Brad Penny will be this year. He was spotted at Spring Training rocking the number 36. This will soon become the most popular jersey in America and the world. I have long been comparing the re-uniting of Penny and Beckett to the scene in Mighty Ducks 3 where Dean Portman finally opens his scholarship to Eden Hall and rejoins the Ducks mid-game against the varsity squad. The Bash Brothers are back! Matsuzaka, Okajima and Saito will be competing for the role of "Wu Wu" Kenny Wu, the third Bash Brother. That's all for the weekend that was in pro sports. Be on the lookout for a Brad Penny clone giving out free autographs in Boston.

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