Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Tackling the Toughest Issues: Nutrisystem

It has been well documented in the annals of TPLIYP how much I disdain the ESPN sportscasters. Therefore, you can imagine how much I shudder in fear when I see them on commercials talking about how much weight they lost with Nutrisystem for Men. I don't understand why Nutrisystem thinks that these guys are good people to market their product with. I personally hate them all (except for the Kruker). I would rather trust Keith Hernandez and Walt Frazier with my beard than Chris Berman or Mike Golic with my food.

First of all, their product looks pretty lousy. They peddle their advertisements saying that their meals are "MAN FOOD!" consisting of "pizza, burgers, lasagna" and my personal favorite "POT ROAST!", but clearly the food is the size of a baseball and probably tastes like one too. Then, they bring in these pro sports personalities, to be fair they are not all from ESPN, who I couldn't give a damn about (except for the Kruker) to talk about how much weight they lost. I don't know when they filmed those commercials, but when I see that person on tv the next day, it appears the weight is back on. This was most apparent with the Kruker, John Kruk. He had the world's fastest weight loss and re-gain. I hope he is through with Nutrisystem for good. Golic is fat again, and I guarantee Chris Berman, who has thrown in his hackneyed, blood curdling phrases like "whoop!" and "he could, go, all, the, way" into the commercial just to piss me off it seems, will put it all back before next football season.

I think it is high time that somebody come up with the 50 most embarrassing cameos of all time by athletes. Up at the top of the list you would probably have Michael Phelps on SNL and Entourage, certainly Walt and Keith with "your beard is weird", maybe swimming star Rowdy Gaines for that pool with the current thing, and definitely Nutrisystem for Men with Golic and Berman. Stick to your day jobs gentlemen.


  1. I think Mike Golic is trying to live up to the example of his brother Bob, who starred as Mike Rogers, Dorm RA, in Saved by the Bell: The College Years.

  2. Patrick Lyons did a round of Nutrisystem. Maybe he should be a spokesman. Although I'm guessing he would be out of their price range.

  3. I knew drew wouldn't be able to resist commenting on that post.

  4. I haven't been this thin since "THEEEE RRRRRAIDERS: were in L.A.!