Thursday, May 7, 2009

A Mannywood Ending

Another one bites the dust. Manny Ramirez was suspended today for 50 games after testing positive for a performance enhancing drug. After the Dodgers worked patiently the entire offseason to sign this piece of crap, this is how he repays them. Everything was going so well in Dodgerland; they had won 13 in a row at home, they had the best record in baseball, and their young stars were starting to blossom. Now this happens. Don't be surprised if the Dodgers drop off the face of the earth after this bombshell (as I hoped in my entry entitled "Listen to the Money Talk" on 2/27). The team and the town placed so much hope in this man, only to be burned by what we can only call "Manny being Manny".

When the story about Manny first broke, it didn't really make sense to me. "Manny?", I thought. "He doesn't care about anything. Why would he care so much about baseball as to take steroids?". Seriously, over the years Manny's mind has appeared to be anywhere but focused on baseball. There were the times he would retreat into the Green Monster to take bong rips, there was his walk up song of "Because I got high" by Afroman, there was the clubhouse fight he got into with Youkilis, and there was the sign he made asking to be traded for Brett Favre. Not to mention the $20+ million he just got for singing with L.A. this offseason. Why would this guy take steroids? He doesn't care about baseball and he's filthy rich. I'm not even sure if he lifts weights. It didn't make sense. Then Manny came out with "his" public statement and I knew it was true.

"I saw a physician for a personal health issue and he gave it to me". Bullshit. Does he think we are retarded? How many times have we been fed that line in the last two years? If you were fighting to save your name, wouldn't you at least name the doctor? And the health issue? Just like Steve Kohut when he got locked out of the KA off campus house because no one likes him, I wasn't having any of it. "It" being Manny's excuse. I gave this guy the benefit of the doubt at first because I thought he was too much of a flake to do steroids. It turns out that he is about the biggest idiot of all time because he took steroids and managed to get caught. Of all the big names who juiced; McGwire, Sosa, Bonds, Clemens, Rodriguez etc. Manny is the only one who has been dumb enough to actually get caught by MLB and suspended the 50 games. There is no doubt in my mind that he juiced. Save your excuses Manny, we're tired of it.

I guess the Dodgers got what they bargained for when they threw all that money at the man with the million dollar bat and the two cent head. I'm glad the Dodgers got screwed for wasting all that money on Manny, but it is unfortunate for the city of Los Angeles, longtime Dodger fans, Manny Ramirez fantasy owners like Andrew Brown, and Andre Ethier fantasy owners like myself who put their hope in Manny. They are also getting severely burned for the actions of one stupid person. Add Manny Ramirez to the list of players that we should just ignore completely. Manny will now have plenty of time to be Manny while being suspended.


  1. "Million dollar bat, two cent head" - great analogy. There are no real fans in LA, its a shitty baseball city. Those people would rather yuk it up at Pink Taco and gawk at Heidi and Spencer at Les Deux than actually watch a baseball game. People from LA make me sick.

  2. Totally zing-ed him with that closing line!

  3. d billz also has Manny in his fantasy league.

  4. Pisses me off. I had to pick up Mark Teahan to fill his shoes. He also is listed as NA and not DL, so I don't get an extra roster spot. My life sucks.

  5. I picked up Teahan too! Almost eligible for 1B and 2B. Could be a great utility guy.