Monday, June 15, 2009

No Love for Kobe in La La Land

Life may seem pretty good for Kobe Bryant, but in fact his life actually sucks. He is despised in his home town of Philadelphia, despised just about everywhere else, and for the most part it seems that nobody wants him to succeed. The only reason people might like Kobe is due to the scenes in the Chappelle Show where Dave would say "KOBE!". The fact that the city of Los Angeles won't even fork over the money for the Lakers to have a victory parade is just another kick in the balls for the man that Magic Johnson calls "the best basketball player of all time". It just goes to show how little the successes of this man actually mean even though he makes them seem so important.

Kobe has always been in the shadow of Shaquille O'Neal. Until this year, the knock against him was that he couldn't win a championship without Shaq. Moreover, the fact that the east coast kid abandoned his roots and became Mr. Hollywood drew the ire of a lot of people. Throw Eagle County on top of that and you've got a pretty big scumbag on your hands. Also, what the hell is with him licking his lips all the time? You look like a fucking idiot Kobe. Needless to say, watching Kobe lose has always been something that gives me great joy. Watching him succeed I couldn't care less for.

Now that Kobe has finally gotten the monkey off his back, a la Steve Young, it doesn't seem like anyone cares. The City of LA won't even fork over the money for a parade without the Lakers putting up half of it. I love it. What is supposed to be a great triumph for Kobe is being viewed as nothing special. Its great.

Kobe Bryant has got to be one of the least popular "stars" of all time in the NBA. I never used to root against Michael Jordan or Karl Malone or anyone like the way I root against Kobe. I root against Kobe in basketball and in life. He is selfish, annoying, and fake. The City of LA's refusal to foot the bill for the parade is just a microcosm of how people have grown tired of his antics and do not care at all about his successes. KOBE!!!


  1. Quite a dichotomy, comparing Kobe, an accused former rapist with Steve Young, a legend at holier-than-thou BYU. Steve Young was a MAN, not a bitch like Kobe, the guy had so many concussions that his brain still shakes like he's jumping around a moonbounce.

  2. Kobe screwed himself by being a whiney bitch all of the time. If he stuck to solely playing basketball (without the off field issues with rape and then wanting to get traded), he would be comparable to MJ.

    He is a great player, I just also can't stand him.

  3. Steve Young is also a bitch in my opinion. His only redeeming quality is that he is a lefty

  4. Another redeeming quality of Young are the various poses he strikes during installments of "Young is Restless" on Sunday NFL Countdown. Hilarity indeed.

    Will, please comment on Joe Buck Live. It was an absolute trainwreck for about 48 minutes until Artie Lange showed up and completely ripped the show apart. I hope you caught it.

  5. Artie Lange also tore about the tool from SNL, telling him to take his head out of Lorne Michaels' ass for $11/hour. If you haven't seen Beer League w/Artie Lange, I'd highly recommend it, constant laugh riot.