Friday, July 31, 2009

I'll See You In Cooperstown!!!!

All this talk about steroids and the Hall of Fame has gotten me thinking. Shouldn't we reserve spots in Cooperstown for true American legends? And is there any more of an American legend than the great Gary Gaetti? I gasped in fear yesterday when I mistakenly read "Gatti death ruled suicide" as "Gaetti death ruled suicide" on A colleague of mine reassured me "Gaetti has wat too much to live for. Like Cooperstown." In an era where cheaters are running rampant, I would like to endorse the candidacy of Gary Gaetti for the Hall of Fame effective immediately.

As if my endorsement for Gary Gaetti isn't enough, lets take a look at his credentials. They should prove more than satisfactory for any doubters out there. First of all, Gaetti was a straight up SLUGGER. He hit a home run in his first at bat in the majors, and is the career leader in home runs by players who hit one in their first at bat with 360 total. We can only assume that he could have hit more, but chose to stop on a nice round number. This nifty stat alone is enough to get Gaetti into the Hall in my mind, but I will go on.

Gaetti hit home runs in his first two post season at bats. This feat had only been accomplished by Gaetti until last year when Evan Longoria went on his post-season tear. A recent Sports Illustrated poll showed that 35% of MLB players voted Evan Longoria most likely to make the Hall of Fame out of baseball's young guns. Ipso facto, Gary Gaetti should be in the Hall of Fame.

If that is not enough for you, what about Gaetti's 2 all star selections, 4 gold gloves, 1987 World Series ring, 1995 Silver Slugger Award and 1987 ALCS MVP award? That do anything for ya? What about the fact that he is rumored to have hit a 505 foot home run while playing for Northwest Missouri State? Yeah you're starting to tingle down there.

Not only was Gaetti a force offensively (did I mention that a source told me he holds the record for the most doubles in the second week of August?), he also threw gas. In three appearances as a pitcher, he compiled a dental floss thin 7.71 ERA with 1 strikeout. Filthy. He was also involved in two triple plays in one inning. That is probably how he earned the nickname "The Rat". Probably.

Stats aside, Gaetti already has Hall of Fame experience. He has been inducted into the Minnesota Twins Hall of Fame and the Northwest Missouri State Hall of Fame. If he were submitting a resume to the Hall of Fame for the open position of 3rd baseman, he would be head and shoulders above the other candidates right now. He wouldn't even need a cover letter, or resume paper.

In this age of doubt and uncertainty raised by steroid use, Gary Gaetti is a man you can count on. You can take his .255 average and 1,341 RBIs to the bank. They are good as gold. Let us spread the good word of Gary Gaetti in hopes that one day we can look at him and say "I'll see you in Cooperstown!!!".

1 comment:

  1. Another definite HoF'er getting the shaft: Jose Oquendo, the Secret Weapon.