Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Where Will Ron Mexico Go?

It appears that Ron Mexico is on his way back to the NFL after his long and strange journey through the Virginia State correctional system. Having spent over a year in jail, and over two years out of pro football it is natural to wonder how Michael Vick will fare whenever he decides to return. It seems crazy to think that no team would want to take a chance on someone with so much talent though. The Vikings had been goosing up Brett Favre for the last 3 months to try to get him to come back. Michael Vick should be able to instill that curiosity into some teams, right? Here are some possible options I see for Ron Mexico's return to football.

Minnesota- The Vikings are clearly not happy with the QBs they have in camp, otherwise they would not have tried so hard to get a 39 year old jort wearer to sign with them. Moreover, I think that the Minnesota brass hoped that Tarvaris Jackson would turn into a Michael Vick type player with some seasoning. Why buy the cow when you can get the herpes for free?

Miami- How wild would the wildcat be if Michael Vick were added to the fold? Imagine an offense with Pat White, Ronnie Brown, Tedd Ginn, Ricky Williams, Michael Vick and the cunning and elusive Chad Pennington all lined up together. I wouldn't know whether to poop or go blind as a defender. PETA was all over the Dolphins for their treatment of Snowflake though, so adding Michael Vick might not go over so well.

Cleveland- Just imagine how crazy the "Dawg Pound" would go for Vick!

San Francisco- Alex Smith has not panned out for the Niners so far, and I don't think Shaun Hill is the answer. Sometimes you can just tell by a guy's name if he is going to be a good player or not. Shaun Hill would fall into the same category that I put Wes Helms in about 10 years ago; loser. Vick could make this team very dynamic, and if he got out of line Mike Singletary could either drop his pants, or send Vick to "time out" in any number of S.F. gay bars.

New England- Bill Billabill has been known to take problem athletes and bring them on board to his program with great success. We haven't heard a peep out of Randy Moss since he was traded to New England. Moreover, I'm sure Bill Billabill wouldn't bat an eye at Vick's past problems because of the talent he has. Nor would anyone in New England question the decision of the great Bill Billabill.

UFL- As previously mentioned on, going to the UFL for the duration of his NFL suspension could benefit Vick greatly. He could make some dough, NFL teams could guage the fan reaction to his signing, and Vick could get his feet back under him as a player. I would probably go pay to see Michael Vick play in the UFL if he were playing for the Hartford (insert name here). The UFL is also considering a team in Monterey, Mexico. Imagine the marketing opportunities for Ron Mexico there.

The next few months will definitely be interesting for Michael Vick and all of football. We will find out just which teams are desperate enough to take a chance on Michael Vick. Such a big risk could carry with it a huge reward. Or herpes.


  1. Houston Texans need something to get them in the playoffs, Ron Dayne ain't cuttin' it.

  2. thunder thighs. the great dayne is fat. dog pun intended.