Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Power Rankings Volume 2


5 weeks ago, the Colts were undefeated and atop my first ever power rankings. 5 weeks later, they are still undefeated, but they have slipped to second. What happened you might ask? Well, in the words of the Dude, "New shit has come to light"..."and given the nature of all of this new shit, you know, I I I I, this could be a lot more uh uh uh uh, complex." Allow me to make you privy to all the new shit that has come to light with the second installment of TPLIYP Power Rankings. The new number 1 is the New Orleans Saints. Despite the Big Lebowski intro, most of my references will be to Varsity Blues.


1. New Orleans Saints- The Saints are the fucking show dogs (with fucking papers) of the NFL. They have two very impressive comeback wins after being behind double digits to both the Dolphins and the Panthers. Moreover, they beat two of the better teams in the NFC in the G-Men and the Falcons. No longer are they the New Orleans Ain'ts, these guys are for real for real.

2. Indianapolis Colts- The Colts drop down to #2 because of a rash of injuries to their secondary. Also, in the last 5 weeks they have played the likes of Seattle, St. Louis, San Francisco and Tennessee. Their only good win came last week against Houston. They've got their work cut out for them in the next few weeks with games against BB and the NEP, Baltimore, and Houston again. If they can stay undefeated through that stretch, then we will know what they are made of (couldn't find a video of Lance's dad with the can on his head).

3. Pittsburgh Steelers- Watch out. The Steelers have put those two bad losses to the Bengals and Bears way behind them and handed the Vikings their first loss, then the Broncos their second. Don't forget that they are also the defending champs. I think we might be hearing some MVP chants for this good looking guy pretty soon.

4. New England Patriots- The Pats offense is looking very formidable these days. The fact that they played against Tampa and Tennessee helps, but they also have been playing good defense. It seems as if the youth movement is starting to kick in, and that could be crucial down the stretch for my AFC Super Bowl pick.

5. Minnesota Vikings- I will never give the Vikings their full dues. Even though they are 7-1, their only really good win came against the Ravens. They have a pretty easy schedule the rest of the way, but I just don't like Baby Brett when it comes time to prove this team is for real, and that is reflected in my ranking of them.

6. Cincinnati Bengals- Still not quite sure what to think of the Bungals. Their game this Sunday in Pittsburgh will go a long way in showing if they are for real or not. Ochocinco should try this dance for his next TD.

7. Dallas Cowboys- They were the benefactors of a lucky call (or lack of a call) against the Iggs on Sunday, but still probably deserved to win the game. They have won 4 in a row, but their coach and QB don't inspire as much confidence in me as this Texas tandem.

8. Denver Broncos- Are they coming down? I hope so, for my prediction's sake. Josh McDaniels gets way too hyped up over each play. Look for him and his team to start to tire in the second half.

9. Philadelphia Eagles- The Stinkin' losers are only a few plays away from being 7-1 right now. But that is why they are the Stinkin' losers. I still like their chances to win the NFC East though. Andy Reid should start threatening the players with his whipped cream bikini if they keep losing.

10. San Diego Chargers- Don't look now, but the Chargers are again in position to steal the AFC West from the Broncos. It's all starting to come together for them, that is until the playoffs.

11. Atlanta Falcons- My NFC Super Bowl pick is disappointing me more than Mox disappointed his father by organizing an all night drinkin' party before the Elridge game. However, they are still on pace for a wild card berth.

12. Arizona Cardinals- I don't know what to make of the Cardinals either. Great games followed by terrible games. A real shapeshifter of a team. Could they have another 9-7 Super Bowl season? Why not?

13. Houston Texans- My playoff dark horse really took a hit in their loss to Indy last week. I still think they can rally the troops and make the playoffs though. Andre Johnson is awesome.

14. New York G-Men- What is wrong with the G-Men? They have lost 4 in a row, and last week against the Chargers was a real heart breaker. Maybe Eli doesn't want Archie's life.

15. Baltimore Ravens- The Ravens defense looks like it went to Mox's all night drinkin' party this year. As they are finding out, you can't really rely on only Joe Flacco and Ray Rice. Does anybody else hate that commercial where they have all the custom Ravens shirts, including one that says "Ray Rave"? I know I do.

16. Green Bay Packers- I honestly don't understand why Green Bay is bad. They have so many good players and first round picks on both sides of the ball. I just don't get it. Fog sucks.


Only half today. You will have to wait until tomorrow to see the bottom 16. Try to contain yourselves.

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