Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The Doldrums

Boys and girls, we have reached the doldrums of sport once again. Football is over, though the TPLIYP curse is clearly not. College basketball is lumbering along, as are hockey and basketball. We really don't have much to be excited about. Therefore, today I will offer my opinions on a variety of subjects about which I know collectively only a little. Luckily, we are in a Winter Olympics year and have that just on the horizon. We also have the NBA All Star weekend coming up, so that gives me an excuse to show some more of my favorite dunk videos. Last but not least, I have ignored college basketball almost all season because the Connecticut Huskies are laying an egg this season, so I will offer my limited opinion on some teams to watch out for in March. Sound good? Ok cool.

First on the docket, we have the Winter Olympics. I offered my opinion on those lousy freeloading Canadians earlier, but on a positive note the Winter Olympics has some of the coolest events ever. Let's put a guy on cross country skis and give him a gun. That can be an event. My hat's off to whomever invented the biathlon. Moreover, we have the bobsled and the luge which are two of the coolest things ever. How did this ever get started? I understand sledding and skating, but a sled on skates that is steered through a maze of ice? Awesome. Then we have the skiing events. Downhill skiing provides some of the best wipe outs of all time. Despite all of the accidents, the Olympics still have that terrible orange plastic netting lining the course, mangling the skiers when they crash. Seems to me that they would try and innovate this somehow. Maybe line the course with bubble wrap. Then there is the ski jump. How does one ever get good at this? Practice makes perfect right? So how many times does one screw up this stunt before they get it right? And how are they not dead after screwing up once? Winter Olympic sports are way cooler than those in the Summer Games, and I didn't even mention hockey or curling. Let's go US and A.

This weekend we also have the NBA All Star weekend to break up the monotony. The most important event of course is the dunk contest. I won't mince words; no gay props and don't let the stupid fans vote. Now, cue the youtube dunk montage approved by William Hayes:

-This dunk doesn't get enough credit.

-The best posterization of all time

-I always used to model my layups after the classic Mailman dunk

-All but #4 are fucking awesome.

-I know I show it every time, but white men can jump

-It's too bad the Rainman became a fat pothead


That brings us to college basketball. Needless to say, I have not really been energized to talk much about college basketball. If Lehigh makes it to the tournament though, we must prepare ourselves for an event on par with the Mayan calendar resetting in 2012. Teams I would watch out for to advance deep into the tournament are Michigan State, Kansas, Villanova and Syracuse. What I'm stressing here children is experience. Ever since that punk Carmelo Anthony led the Syracuse Orangemen to the NCAA title in 2003, upperclassmen leadership has been underrated. Since then though, it has been teams that consistently go deep into the tournament that have gone on to win it all. These 4 teams have the mix of veterans and young blood in my opinion to cut down the nets in March. I really haven't been watching that much hoops though, so don't quote me on this.

I really can't wait for warmer weather, and the promise of baseball, the Masters and no torrential snowstorms. In the meantime though, this is what we have to look forward to I guess. I dunno.


  1. youtube herman maier nagano crash

  2. short track speed skating is probably the most exciting event you can watch on tv. i really wanna see that live.

  3. A couple thoughts:

    I think the motocross event for skiing is awesome, I wish it would become even more violent. They need to invent some sort of winter steeplechase event like in the summer olympics. Maybe ski jump over a pool of half frozen water, some people would inevitably fall in.

    Karl Malone's dunks look just scary. I can't think of anything more terrifying than seeing him bear down on me if I was taking a charge.

  4. I submit, the best posterization of all time is Vinsanity over Frederic Weis at the 2000 games.

    Somebody watched SportsNation yesterday!