Tuesday, March 16, 2010

High Five!

Tiger is back! After months of solitude and time off to repair his image, Tiger Fucking Woods will be returning to the PGA Tour. This is great for the fans, but the real winner here is CBS which has rights to both the NCAA Championship and the final two rounds of the Masters. Can you say JACKPOT? Though Tiger will provide a ratings boost for professional golf, it may take him a while to get his game back for good. Tiger will need to make a few calls to Hank Haney, get a few tournaments under his belt, and get a little more color on his pasty facade before he wins a tournament this year.

Tiger Woods playing in a golf tournament is like adding another wrestler in the early stages of a Royal Rumble. What's going on is pretty cool, but the addition of the next wrestler just ups the intensity. Golf tournaments are exciting enough to watch in my opinion, but when Tiger is playing the tournament is that much more interesting and complex. No matter where he is, it is wise to keep an eye on him. Blink and you could miss something great. That is why Tiger's return is so good for golf. No matter what he does for the rest of this year, the tour is better off having him play. By the way, I am aware of the deluge of comments that my reference to the Royal Rumble could inspire from Dorne.

Though the tournaments will be much more interesting, and obviously watched by many more people, I think it might be a little while before Tiger gets his first win. I would love to get a prediction from Mr. Lyons on the subject as well. I would have liked to see Tiger come back a few tournaments before the Masters, so that he could settle his nerves before the first major of the year. Although, I suppose not much could make you nervous after having to admit your infidelities on live TV in front of the whole world. Still, its gonna be a little strange for Tiger in his first tournament back. That coupled with the fact that he will not have played in tournament conditions, nor had time to really work on his swing might detract from Tiger's game for a little while in my opinion. It could take him a month or two before he starts to look like the Tiger of old.

You can't just take months off from what you do and expect to come back and be just as good. Although Tiger Woods can probably come pretty close. Regardless, Tiger Woods' return to the PGA Tour at the Masters will give professional golf a much needed shot in the arm. He may not be in perfect form right away, but believe me he will get there. I'm psyched, and to quote every obnoxious fan after one of Tiger's tee shots, I just want to say; "YOU DA MAN TIGERRRRR!!!!"


  1. "I am so....(looks for a tv camera).... happy"
    -Tiger Woods, alone at his home, 3/16/10

  2. The Masters is a pretty safe destination, his D-Girls will be easy to spot among the Dixie-sympathizers in the crowd.

  3. I appreciate your Rumble reference and the closest analogy I can find is the '92 Rumble in which Ric Flair, then a noob to WWF, entered the ring #3 (possibly #2) and lasted the distance. He survived the Undertaker, HBK and the controversial elimination of Sid Justice by Hogan. Truly remarkable. As Flair said, "To be the man, you gotta beat the man! WOOOOOO!". To win the Masters, you gotta get past the Tiger! WOOOOOOO!

  4. I predict he will finish in the top 15. Sure hes been out of the game for a while but he was playing great before his thanksgiving fiasco. I also predict you will see him cry at Augusta. Also, I think its very possible he wins both the British Open and the PGA championship this year.

    Lets Go Lehigh!!!!!

  5. I also predict you will begin to see Tigers face in the Masters commercials on CBS and ESPN. He was taken out completely when it wasn't known when he would return.