Thursday, September 9, 2010

Leaders of the Pack

Last year I had the Packers winning the NFC North. Like many of my ideas, this one was before its time. This year though, all the prognosticators have clearly read up on their TPLIYP and are picking the Pack as trendy Super Bowl favorites. Now you're on the trolley fellas. The Packers appear to be trending very positively this year, while the GUNSLINGER and the Vikes appear to be on the decline. Meanwhile, the Lions and Bears are stuck in and endless cycle of losing. Therefore, I see the Packers winning the NFC North this year and making a strong run at the Super Bowl. Go crazy Dump!

1. GREEN BAY PACKERS
The Packers offense is very solid at every position. Aaron Rodgers is a legit MVP candidate, Ryan Grant is steady at running back, Donald Driver and Greg Jennings can both make big plays, and JerMichael Finley looks to be the second coming of Pro-Bowler and accused rapist Mark Chmura.

On defense, the Pack have a bevy of talented first-round draft picks. Chucky Woodson should be able to shut down every team's best receiver, and linebackers Clay Matthews, Nick Barnett and A.J. Hawk are all tackling machines. Moreover, B.J. Raji (Eagle) is a run stuffer up the middle. The Packers defense has gotten much better over the past few years, and should be even better this year. The sky is the limit for this team as I see them going about 13-3 and possibly representing the NFC in the Super Bowl.


2. MINNESOTA VIKINGS
As I write this, the Vikings have just lost to the Saints in the season opener, putting up a paltry 9 points. The end to last season could not have been sweeter, as the Gunslinger threw away the NFC Championship with an interception after being good the whole year; but this year I see the whole thing unraveling even further and myself being even happier. The Gunslinger doesn't have it any more. I don't think he cares about the playbook, and he doesn't have his favorite receivers to throw to. Because of this, the Vikings might return to a run-first offense and will regress because of it.

On defense, the Vikes are getting pretty old too. The Williams boys up front are completely immobile oafs, and Jared Allen has lost a step. Lito Sheppard is a big pussy at corner, and the linebackers are nothing to write home about. I take pleasure in seeing Brett Favre fail, and this year looks pretty good for me. The Vikes go 9-7 and the Favre era goes out with a whimper.


3. CHICAGO BEARS
Speaking of quarterbacks I hate, let's turn our focus to Jay Cutler now. Jay Cutler shall be dubbed "the mediocrity machine", and should continue his fine record of 7-9 seasons this year. The Bears didn't really do anything on offense, but their young receiving corps should progress a little bit and Matt Forte hopes to have a bounce back year. Regardless, Crybaby Cutler will steer them to a 7-9 record.

On defense, Urlacher is back baby! The pride of southeastern New Mexico should galvanize this Bears defense, and they might resemble the Bears defense of a few years ago. Moreover, the addition of "I'm bout to go" Julius PEPPERS should help the pass rush. Though the defense might be good, this team is just not good enough to win consistently and have a tough schedule to boot. Yadda yadda yadda, Jay Cutler is a loser.


4. DETROIT LIONS
These Lions could surprise some people this year. I picked them to finish last because it is tradition, and practically muscle memory at this point, but they are definitely on the rise. The nucleus of Matthew Stafford, Calvin Johnson, Jahvid Best, and Brandon Pettigrew is certainly one that inspires hope in the hearts of the 42 people still living in Detroit, but we just don't know what to expect from them.

On defense, I can't wait to see Ndamukong Suh and Kyle Vanden Bosch feast on some quarterbacks this year, especially the gunslinger. The Lions are definitely looking up, but are probably still a few years away from being really competitive. I like them to go a robust 6-10 this year and maybe play spoiler to some teams at the end of the season.

3 divisions left! Let's get BUSY!!! Go crazy Dump!

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