Sunday, December 28, 2014

Moose's Weekly Picks

Rough week for Moose in the second to last week of the season.  I need to come up big in week 17 in order to get back to .500.  I think we have clearly learned through our three years of doing this, that the bookies in Vegas who set the spread know very well what they are doing.  All we can do is try our best going forward.

Detroit (+7.5) at Green Bay: Detroit has a stout defense, and maybe Green Bay has been figured out a little bit?  PICK: Detroit

Jacksonville (+7.5) at Houston:  Maybe Blake Bortles is starting to turn the corner a little bit?  PICK: Jacksonville

Cincinnati (+3.5) at Pittsburgh: This game is for the division, but Cincy is a little dinged up.  I guess I'll take Pittsburgh?  PICK: Pittsburgh

Indianapolis (-7.5) at Tennessee: The Colts have been exposed the last few weeks.  They have nothing to gain, so maybe they don't show up today?  PICK: Tennessee

Cleveland (+13.5) at Baltimore: Has Johnny Manziel destroyed the Browns mojo?  PICK: Baltimore

Buffalo (+6) at NEP: The NEP have already wrapped everything up, and the last thing they want is injuries to key players.  I'm assuming we will see a lot of Jimmy Garropolo today?  PICK: Buffalo

NYJ (+6.5) at Miami: I'm guessing Rex wins this one and spins it to make himself look like a martyr of some sort?  I can already see he jogging off the field with his arm raised in a symbolic gesture.  He is just a bad person.  PICK: NYJ

Carolina (+3) at Atlanta: Has there ever been such a meaningful bad football game?  PICK: Atlanta

Chicago (+7) at Minnesota: Is Jay Cutler auditioning for a new team this offseason?  Please don't be the Iggs!  PICK: Minnesota

San Diego (+2) at Kansas City: Watch out for the Chargers?  BOLT UP.  PICK: San Diego

Stinkin' Losers (+1) at NYG: What will the the stinking' losers do this offseason?  A lot of changes in store for two teams going in very different directions.  One thing is for sure, Mark Sanchez' career has about the same arc as the "I didn't do it" boy.  PICK: NYG (No Doubter)


Dallas (-5.5) at Washington:  I guess only stinkin' losers lose to Washington?  PICK: Dallas

New Orleans (-4.5) at Tampa Bay: How much does New Orleans miss Sproles and Malcolm Jenkins?  PICK: Tampa

St. Louis (+11.5) at Seattle: Does any team want to play Seattle right now?  I think the Rams will give them a run though.  PICK: St. Louis

Arizona (+6.5) at San Francisco: Can Ryan Lindley throw a touchdown?  Doubtful.  PICK: San Francisco

Oakland (+14) at Denver: Can Denver get healthy before the playoffs?  What's wrong with Peyton?  PICK: Oakland


LAST WEEK: 6-10
OVERALL: 102-104-4
NO DOUBTER: 9-5-1

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Moose's Weekly Picks

Another 8-7-1 week for Moose.  Hey, no complaints.  In the life of a get rich quick day trader, we would call the last two weeks "melting up."  I'm also particularly happy with my Andrew Luck Wang Computers photoshop from last week.  Although, I am unhappy that I switched my No Doubter from the Broncos to the Seahawks at the last minute.  Traded a win for a tie.  Foolish, Moose.  Foolish.  Let's get into week 16.

Tennessee (+3.5) at Jacksonville:  Wow.  Coming out of the gate with this one, huh?  Forget about all the lousy games they have had all season; this game being televised by itself with no other football games to switch to is why Thursday night football should be abolished.  PICK:  Tennessee

San Diego (+1) at San Francisco: Have we ever seen a regression as far and fast as Colin Kaepernick's?  The 9ers are proving my Super Bowl losing coach theory very well.  PICK: San Diego

Philadelphia (-8) at Washington: The Stinkin' Losers lost control of their playoff destiny last week with a particularly ugly loss to Dallas.  I think they bounce back this week, only because it is Washington.  They are dead in the water if they make the playoffs.  I need Foles back worse than Mr/. Burns needs his beloved teddy bear Bobo.  Or like Homer needs Sherriff Lobo.  PICK: Philadelphia


Minnesota (+6.5) at Miami: Minnesota's defense seems pretty stout.  I'll keep going to the well with them.  A discussion I had with my GroupMe group "Workaholics"; we need to see "30 for 30: Vikings Sex Boat Cruise."  PICK: Minnesota

Green Bay (-10.5) at Tampa Bay: Really proud of myself for picking that Bills/Packers upset last week.  Green Bay goes on the road again this week, but against a team with much less to play for.  PICK: Green Bay

Detroit (-9) at Chicago: The Iggs could use Chicago's help to get into the playoffs.  That went out the window with the announcement that Jimmy Clausen is starting.  I don't disrespect the move though.  The Bears are just one year late on realizing how big of a bum Cutler is.  PICK: Detroit

Atlanta (+6) at New Orleans: Somebody please make this division seem respectable.  PICK: New Orleans

NEP (-10) at NYJ: Not as easy of a game as it appears.  The NYJ always give the NEP a tough game even when they suck.  I would love to see BB put Rex out of his misery this game.  PICK: NEP

Kansas City (+3) at Pittsburgh: Pittsburgh is rising with Le'veon Bell.  PICK: Pittsburgh

Cleveland (+3.5) at Carolina: Inauspicious first start for Johnny Football.  I don't see him doing much better this week.  PICK: Carolina

Baltimore (-5) at Houston: I believe it is either Case Keenum of Thad Lewis starting this week for Houston.  I believe I have a No Doubter of the week.  PICK: Baltimore

NYG (+5.5) at St. Louis: The Shaun Hill gang is ousted from the playoffs, but Jeff Fisher will keep them improving with a W this week.  PICK: St. Louis

Buffalo (-6) at Oakland: Huge win for Buffalo last week. Do they keep it up, or do they do what Buffalo does?  PICK: Buffalo

Indianapolis (+3) at Dallas: Dallas is undefeated on the road, and 3-4 at home.  I'll take Andy Luck and the Colts to steamroll them, setting up the Stinkin' Losers to get demolished at home in the playoffs.  PICK: Indy

Seattle (-8) at Arizona: It is going to take all the magic in the desert for the Cardinals to come away with this one.  Ryan Lindley starting against the hottest team in the league.  Even I can't pick the Cardinals here, and I hate myself everyday because of it.  PICK: Seattle

Denver (-3) at Cincinnati: Cincy looked good last week.  Logic says they will look bad this week.  PICK: Denver

LAST WEEK: 8-7-1
OVERALL: 96-94-4
NO DOUBTER: 9-4-1

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Moose's Weekly Picks

Another week in the black last week.  I'll take it.  If we could put those together every week, we'd all be giving advice in Vegas now.  Not to mention, another No Doubter in the books for all you big money gamblers.  I expect my holiday gifts from all of you any day now.  Let's get into this week with some crucial games on the slate.

Arizona (+4.5) at St. Louis: St. Louis is making some late season noise.  I know we are not in the desert, but I can't turn down the Cardinals and points.  PICK: Arizona

Oakland (+10) at Kansas City: Fat Andy is not gonna get embarrassed at home by the Raiders.  But can the Raiders keep it within ten?  Sure.  PICK: Oakland

Jacksonville (+13.5) at Baltimore: Baltimore looks like they are making a playoff push.  Wouldn't want to face them in a first round game.  PICK: Baltimore

Pittsburgh (-2.5) at Atlanta: The Steelers have been extremely inconsistent this year.  Some big wins followed by inexplicable losses.  Atlanta looks like they might want to take the NFC South by something more than default.  PICK: Atlanta

Houston (+6.5) at Indianapolis: Andrew Luck is getting beaten up worse than Martin Prince did when he wore his Wang Computers shirt on the bus.  You can bet JJ Watt will be all over him on Sunday.  PICK: Houston



Cincinnati (+1) at Cleveland: Johnny Football making his debut in the Dawg Pound.  Any other time, I would vomit at the thought of this game, but this is must see TV.  This could also be the high-water mark of the Browns franchise.  In typical Cleveland fashion, I like them to get stomped.  PICK: Cincy

Miami (+7.5) at NEP: I think BB and the NEP can smell the finish line. If they can win this game it is pretty much all over.  7.5 is a lot to give though.  I expect a big game from Gronk.  PICK: NEP

Tampa Bay (+3) at Carolina: I don't think Cam is playing.  Does that help or hurt Carolina?  PICK: Carolina

Washington (+6.5) at NYG: Washington on pace for another RG3-13 season.  PICK: NYG

Green Bay (-5) at Buffalo: It is unbelievable that Green Bay is only favored by five here, but they are a different team on the road.  All three of their losses have come on the road, and a few narrow wins against the likes of the Dolphins and Vikings.  I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'll take Buffalo.  Probably wishful thinking more than anything.  PICK: Buffalo

Minnesota (+8) at Detroit: The Vikings are improving, but I think Detroit can take them at home.  PICK: Detroit

NYJ (-2) at Tennessee: Imagine having to watch this game.  PICK: NYJ

Denver (-4) at San Diego: Denver's offense is finally healthy again.  The loss of pussy punter Mike Scifres will hurt the Chargers more than they think.  PICK: Denver

San Francisco (+10) at Seattle: I thought San Francisco would bounce back and crush the Raiders after that loss to Seattle two weeks ago.  Now they lose again and the season is pretty much over. I have a feeling Seattle puts them out of their misery and demolishes them.  Make it my No Doubter. PICK: Seattle

Dallas (+3.5) at Philadelphia: Dez Bryant did not show up on Thanksgiving.  Even if he does on Sunday, I don't think it matters.  The Iggs can't beat the tough teams, but will handle Dallas.  Fletcher Cox is going to engulf Romo.  PICK: Philadelphia

New Orleans (-3) at Chicago: Who wants the NFC South?  I have no clue.  I think Brees can pick apart the Bears brutal secondary though.  PICK: New Orleans


LAST WEEK: 8-7-1
OVERALL: 88-87-3
NO DOUBTER: 9-4

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Moose's Weekly Picks

Road weary and clearly affected by opposing fans, Moose finally returns home for a full week of MWP.  A terrible week followed by a .500 week keeps Moose exactly at .500 for the year.  Now lets feed off the home crowd and pull off a big week.  I will also make up for all the Simpsons references over the past two weeks.  Here we go!

Dallas (-3.5) at Chicago: Wow, a tough one right off the bat.  Both of these teams are legendarily bad down the stretch, and both teams looked lifeless on Thanksgiving.  The Bears secondary is absolute garbage though.  PICK: Dallas

Baltimore (+3) at Miami: The Phins are playing pretty well at home lately.  PICK: Miami

Pittsburgh (+3) at Cincinnati: Don't know what to make of either of these teams.  They seem kinda righteous, but then I see them fraternizing with lameoids.  That makes them lameWADS!  Maybe Cincinnati has the police master key to the playoffs though.  PICK: Cincy

Indianapolis (-4) at Cleveland: Cleveland is desperately hanging on to their playoff hopes.  I think Indy snuffs them out this week and the Johnny Football dynasty starts next week.  Then the Cleveland Triumvirate will be complete: Lebron, Manziel, Mateo.  PICK: Indy

Houston (-5) at Jacksonville: JJ Watt has been a man possessed the last few weeks.  If I had to start a franchise today, I would probably take him first.  Also, Fitzy throwing six touchdowns last week was more unlikely than Homie the Clown completely the loop-de-loop on the mini bicycle. PICK: Houston

NYG (pick em) at Tennessee:  I'll follow up that reference with one from the same episode; I'm seeing double!  Four terrible teams!  PICK: NYG

Carolina (+9.5) at New Orleans: New Orleans might have turned a corner last week.  Riverboat Ron meanwhile has hit a cold streak.  PICK: New Orleans

Tampa Bay (+9.5) at Detroit: I don't think Detroit is that good, but I think they can beat Tampa by 10.  PICK: Detroit

St. Louis (-2.5) at Washington: The Rams are playing with the tenacity of a Ferguson looter.  They crushed the Raiders by 52 last week, and the Raiders are better than the Skins.  All hail the Shaun Hill Gang as this week's NO DOUBTER.  PICK: St. Louis

NYJ (+6) at Minnesota: Whenever I am completely down on the NYJ they do a 180 and surprise me.  I am not completely down on them.  PICK: Minnesota

Buffalo (+10) at Denver: I am completely down on Buffalo.  I'm not sure what a team expects with Kyle Orton as quarterback.  PICK: Denver

Kansas City (+1) at Arizona: I am also losing faith in Arizona.  I would pick KC this week, but we are in the desert.  PICK: Arizona

San Francisco (-8) at Oakland: The 9ers offense has gone dormant, but the Raiders got blanked last week.  I'll take Harbaugh to bounce back this week.  PICK: San Francisco

Seattle (+1.5) at Philadelphia: The Iggs are having red area troubles, but managed to surpass my expectations the past two weeks.  This week I think they fail the test against the defending champs.  PICK: Seattle

NEP (-3.5) at San Diego: I'll take the NEP anywhere except Green Bay.  PICK: NEP

Atlanta (+12) at Green Bay: I'm hoping somebody can knock off the Pack before the playoffs.  If they get the #1 seed, I think only Seattle could beat them before the Super Bowl.  PICK: Green Bay


LAST WEEK: 8-8

OVERALL: 80-80-2

NO DOUBTER: 8-4