Thursday, October 29, 2015

Moose's Weekly Picks

I'll keep this quick since I am on vacation and don't have a lot of time before I'm due on the first tee.  Good week last week.  Good...not great.  Let's push forward. No frills this week.

NEP (-8) at MIAMI: Miami is the hottest team in the NFL right now, and will certainly give the NEP a game.  Big Suh will probably try to get in a few cheap shots on Brady as well.  However I think BB out coaches the young buck for the Dolphins.  PICK: NEP

DETROIT (+5) at LONDON CHIEFS: Andy Reid is probably demolishing fish and chips in London.  This is going to be an ugly game, but I think Detroit's offense should flourish.  It has to, right?  PICK: Detroit

MINNESOTA (-1) at CHICAGO: AP will be too much for the Bears defense I believe.  PICK: Minnesota

TAMPA BAY (+7) at ATLANTA: Hotlanta has looked rather pedestrian the past few weeks.  Famous Jameis is scoring TDs, but the defense is also giving them up quite easily.  If you make Kirk Cousins look good, then you are a bad defense.  Gimme Hotlanta.  PICK: Hotlanta

NYG (+3) at NEW ORLEANS: Both teams won last week, but the G-Men should be back to full strength this week.  I'll take them and the points.  PICK: NYG

SAN FRANCISCO (+8.5) at ST. LOUIS: Did somebody say the Rams are playing a divisional foe this week?  San Francisco is on blowout alert.  PICK: St. Louis

ARIZONA (-4.5) at CLEVELAND: The Browns stink.  They should have never fired the Chud.  Even though Arizona is on the road I will take them in a rout.  PICK: Arizona

PITTSBURGH (pick 'em) at CINCINNATI: He is risen.  PICK: Pittsburgh


PICK: Baltimore

NYJ (-2.5) at OAKLAND: The NYJ put up a good fight against the NEP last week, but now have to travel cross-country to Oak-town.  I think they are in for a let down.  PICK: Oakland

TENNESSEE (+4) at HOUSTON: Houston is absolute garbage.  Too many personalities, not enough heart.  Now they are down Arian Foster as well.  I'll take the Titans as my NO DOUBTER.  PICK: Tennessee

SEATTLE (-6) at DALLAS: Dez is back.  But who will deliver him the ball?  PICK: Seattle

GREEN BAY (-3) at DENVER: Game of the week.  Two undefeateds battling it out in the Mile High City.  Green Bay's offense has left much to be desired, and I think their defense is a bit overrated.  Therefore, I will take dirty Peyton and the boys.  PICK: Denver

INDIANAPOLIS (+7) at CAROLINA: Carolina ran over the Iggs last week, and should have no problem doing the same against Indianapolis.  Chuck Pagano has gotta be getting fired pretty soon, right? PICK: Carolina

OVERALL: 53-48-4

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Moose's Weekly Picks

What goes up must come down.  Spinning wheel, round and round.  5-8-1 and a botched No Doubter last week.  Always hurtling towards mediocrity.  Here we go for week seven.

SEATTLE (-6.5) at SAN FRANCISCO: Seattle is sitting at 2-4 right now.  This is the week that decides if Seattle is a contender once again, or yet another Super Bowl loser that falls off the map the following season.  I think they come out angry this week.  PICK: Seattle

BUFFALO (-4) at JACKSONVILLE: The London Jaguars have never won a game at their home stadium.  I expect that trend to continue.  I can't imagine what the Brits think football is after being subjected to the Jags every year.  PICK: Buffalo

CLEVELAND (+6) at ST. LOUIS: The Rams have looked pedestrian against everybody but their powerful division rivals.  Cleveland played the Broncs tough last week and are on the upswing.  PICK: Cleveland

PITTSBURGH (-2.5) at KANSAS CITY: Pittsburgh took down the mighty Cardinals last week with Landry Jones at quarterback.  Their offense is almost back to full health, while the Chefs are sputtering with no Jamaal Charles.  PICK: Pittsburgh

NYJ (+9) at NEP: Game of the week right here.  The Pitter Pats didn't lay the beatdown that everyone expected on Indy last week, and division games are usually pretty close.  NYJ is also coming off of a bye week and their defense should be completely in tact (and COMPLETELY WATERPROOF!). I'll take the NYJ and the points here.  PICK: NYJ

MINNESOTA (-2.5) at DETROIT: The Lions got into the win column last week, but Minnesota's defense is starting to hit its stride here.  What in the world happened to the Lions high-powered offense?  PICK: Minnesota

ATLANTA (-4.5) at TENNESSEE: Looks like no Marcus Mariota in this one.  I'm not sure if last week for Atlanta was just a Thursday night dud, or a sign that they are not actually that good.  I will bet on the Thursday night dud though.  PICK: Hotlanta

TAMPA BAY (+3.5) at WASHINGTON: Can Jameis show a new side after the bye week?  I have no doubt that he can.  Does that mean I make this my No Doubter?  No.  Hit me with the counter!  PICK: Tampa Bay

NEW ORLEANS (+4.5) at INDIANAPOLIS: The Colts are beginning to round into form I think.  New Orleans got a big win last week, but that was in the dome.  Look for Plucky Luck to reassert himself as a good quarterback this week.  PICK: Indiana

HOUSTON (+4) at MIAMI: The Phins came out with a vengeance under new coach Dan Campbell.  They actually ran the ball too, which was a godsend to take pressure off of Tannehill.  I think they keep it rolling this week, and I shall choose them as my NO DOUBTER.  PICK: Miami

OAKLAND (+4) at SAN DIEGO: I really enjoy watching the Chargers play.  Big Phil Rivers chucks it all over the field, but then somehow get stymied in the red zone every time.  It doesn't make sense.  Methinks it has to do with the running game.  I'll take them this week after a frustrating loss to Green Bay last week.  PICK: San Diego

DALLAS (+3.5) at NYG: God the NYG looked bad last week.  It seems like the Iggs are the only team that can do that to them though.  There ain't no way that Dallas and their achy-breaky offense musters anything against this defense.  Note to Dallas fans: if you are excited about Matt Cassel being promoted to starter, then you're gonna have a bad time.  PICK: NYG

PHILADELPHIA (+3) at CAROLINA: The Panthers defense is pretty stout, as is the Iggs.  Both offenses leave something to be desired.  This should be game of the week 2.0.  Cam usually comes up big in the prime time games, and the Panthers usually get home cooking from the refs in Bank of America Stadium.  Those facts swing this one to the 'thers.  PICK: Carolina Ribs

BALTIMORE (+7.5) at ARIZONA: Live look at John Harbaugh:

PICK: Arizona

LAST WEEK: 5-8-1
OVERALL: 45-42-4

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Moose's Weekly Picks

When Moose's back is against the wall, he has no choice but to respond.  After a positively dreadful week four, Moose is back with a monster week five.  9-4-1 overall with another No Doubter that was true.  Let's keep the momentum going in week six.  Now cue my music!

ATLANTA (-3.5) at NEW ORLEANS: New Orleans got embarrassed by the Iggs last week, while the cardiac kids won another nail biter in Atlanta.  I can only assume the Falcons will keep rolling this week, with or without Julio Jones.  PICK: Hotlanta

DENVER (-4) at CLEVELAND: The Brownies are up after a miracle win against Baltimore last week.  Based on the law of Cleveland, what goes up must come down even further.  The Brownies will wilt under the pressure of the Broncos defense.  This will be one of those games where the Browns don't know who to start at qb after the game, and it sets their franchise back another year.  PICK: Denver

CINCINNATI (-3.5) at BUFFALO: The Bills squeaked one out against the Titans last week, and now take on the undefeated Bungals in Orchard Park.  I've been saying that the Bills are a fraud all season long, too late to turn back now.  PICK: Cincy

KANSAS CITY (+4) at MINNESOTA: Dandy Andy lost his top running back Jamaal Charles for the season and his offense seems to be sputtering.  Minnesota should hit them with a heavy dose of AP.  PICK: Minnesota

HOUSTON at JACKSONVILLE (pick 'em): Barf.  Even the oddsmakers wanted nothing to do with this game. PICK: Jacksonville

CHICAGO (+3) at DETROIT: The Lions are due for a win.  They gotta get a win here, right?  Win or lose, you have to assume Jim Caldwell is gone sometime this season.  PICK: Detroit

WASHINGTON (+6) at NYJ: The NYJ are coming off of a bye week and should be able to throw the kitchen sink at the 'skins vaunted offensive line.  Six points is a lot, but I think the Jets can cover.  PICK: NYJ

ARIZONA (-3) at PITTSBURGH: Mike Vick isn't gonna get away with those shenanigans against the Cardinals defense.  Look for Carson and Larry Fitz to have another big day.  PICK: Arizona

MIAMI (+2.5) at TENNESSEE: Philbin is gone and a 35 year old tight ends coach is now at the helm of the Dolphins.  That just goes to show you how bad Philbin was as a coach.  I'll take the Titans and Hawaiian god Marcus Mariota to win at home.  PICK: Tennessee

CAROLINA (+7) at SEATTLE: Seattle has looked extremely vulnerable this year, and Carolina might even have the better defense in this matchup.  Seattle might win, but the Panthers will cover.  PICK: Carolina

SAN DIEGO (+10.5) at GREEN BAY: San Diego's defense is softer than the Charmin that Phil Rivers wipes his butt with.  The Packers offense hasn't been firing on all cylinders this season, but this could be the game where everything clicks.  PICK: Green Bay

BALTIMORE (-2.5) at SAN FRANCISCO: Hard to believe that these two teams played in the Super Bowl three years ago.  Both of them have been failing to close out tight games, and just like Garfunkel, Messina, Oates and Lisa I would go to their games just to boo them.  PICK: San Francisco

NEP (-8) at INDIANAPOLIS: The Pats have slaughtered the Colts the last five or so times they have played them.  What's worse than that, they have done the same thing every time by running the ball down the Colts' throats.  Indy knows what is coming and they can't do anything about it.  I'll go NO DOUBTER here for the second week in a row.  PICK: NEP

NYG (+4) at PHILADELPHIA: FINALLY, and NFC East game of consequence.  The NYG have been playing well the past few weeks, but are a little dinged up coming into this one on Monday night.  The Iggs finally put a four quarter effort together against the lowly Saints, and hopefully that revvs up the Chip Kelly offense.  I expect this to be a close game, and it could come down to a field goal.  In that case, I will take the G-Men and the points.  PICK: NYG

LAST WEEK: 9-4-1
OVERALL: 40-34-3

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Moose's Weekly Picks

Yuck!  After a stellar week three, Moose gives it all back going 5-9-1 in week four and bumbling the No Doubter.  Let's try to get back on the right track in week five.

INDIANAPOLIS (-1) at HOUSTON: After binge watching Hard Knocks the past two days, I can honestly say I don't have much faith in the Texans.  JJ Watt seems like a fraud, and Brian Cushing is a punk.  The question here though, is whether Plucky Luck will play or not.  Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury of waiting until tomorrow to post this, so I am going to guess that he is not playing.  In which case, I will take the frauds from Houston.  PICK: Houston

JACKSONVILLE (+3) at TAMPA BAY: Famous Jameis didn't look too fucking good last week.  He threw the easiest pick-six I have ever seen in the NFL, and really only got a few touchdowns in garbage time.  This week he has an easier matchup, and when you are on the Famous Jameis bandwagon you never get off.  Hit me with the TD counter! PICK: Tampa

BUFFALO (-2.5) at TENNESSEE: If I can make a Jim Croce reference for a second, "It seems like such a long time ago" that the Bills were going to shake up the AFC East with their powerful defense and mobile quarterback.  Now they are 2-2 and I think Mariota tears them apart this week.  PICK: Tennessee

CLEVELAND (+6.5) at BALTIMORE: Baltimore kept their season alive last Thursday with a crazy win in overtime over Pittsburgh.  Can they keep it going this week?  Maybe, but I think Cleveland keeps it close.  PICK: Cleveland

WASHINGTON (+7.5) at ATLANTA: The Skins were gifted a win last week by the hapless Iggs.  Meanwhile the Falcons are undefeated and blowing teams out.  I don't think the Falcons are as good as they have played so far, but they are good enough to beat the Skins this week in the Dome.  PICK: Hotlanta

CHICAGO (+9.5) at KANSAS CITY: Andy Reid has had trouble outfoxing Jon Fox over the years.  9.5 is also a lot of points to give up.  PICK: Chicago

NEW ORLEANS (+4.5) at PHILADELPHIA: Sammy B looked better last week, but the Iggs were still non-existent for an entire half.  Meanwhile, the Saints played a full game and overcame the Cowboys in overtime.  Gimme the Saints and the points.  The Iggs will probably get booed off the field too.  PICK: New Orleans

ST. LOUIS (+9) at GREEN BAY: The Rams have two big divisional wins, but have looked helpless against everybody else.  Going into Green Bay is not going to help that trend.  PICK: Green Bay

SEATTLE (+3) at CINCINNATI: A true test for the Bungals.  I think they are up to the challenge though.  PICK: Cincy

ARIZONA (-2.5) at DETROIT: A stunning loss in the desert last week blew up my No Doubter and has me feeling lost and confused.  I'll take the Cardinals again on the road to make things right though.  Poor Detroit, looking to go 0-5 to start the season.  PICK: Arizona

NEP (-9) at DALLAS: It would have been easy for the Pats to overlook Dallas with Brandon Weeden at quarterback and the Colts next up on the schedule.  However, Greg Hardy did the NEP a huge favor by opening his scumbag mouth and chirping at Tom Brady.  Now the Cowboys will probably lose by 50.  Book it as my NO DOUBTER.  PICK: NEP

DENVER (-5) at OAKLAND: Things we knew before the season: Peyton Manning's arm is a wet noodle.  Things we didn't know before the season: Denver's defense is really really good.  Like Sideshow Bob with Mayor Quimby, I can't tell if this team is coming or going.  (Side note: one of my worst MS paint cut and paste jobs ever) PICK: Denver

SAN FRANCISCO (+7) at NYG: The NYG are looking up with their defense playing well, and the offense beginning to click.  I think they rout the Niners here.  PICK: NYG

PITTSBURGH (+3) at SAN DIEGO: Time for San Diego to giddy up and go.  Antonio Gates returning from suspension will help them.  Martavis Bryant returning from suspension will help Pittsburgh.  Both will help my fantasy team.  PICK: Blitzburgh

LAST WEEK: 5-9-1
OVERALL: 31-30-2

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Moose's Weekly Picks

What a week!  Moose was hitting on picks early and often last week en route to a 10-6 record and another No Doubter slammed home with authority.  I took the teams giving up a lot of points and didn't look back, and it paid off in the end.  Now we are into week four and have some good divisional matchups on our hands.  These are always hard to judge, but that's why they play the game.  Take me to the river!

BALTIMORE (-3) at PITTSBURGH: No Big Ben for Pittsburgh is the biggest factor here, but as Monty G would say "Mike Vick is in da house!"  Baltimore has been playing like trash lately, but I think they get one in the win column here on Thursday night.  Vick hasn't had much time to prepare and the 'Vens are desperate. PICK: Baltimore

NYJ (-1.5) at MIAMI: I am all aboard the Fire Philbin Express after that debacle against Buffalo last week.  I also love the delicious irony of Richie Incognito being part and parcel of such a bullying by the Bills.  Somewhere, Jonathan Martin is suing a TCBY for serving his frogurt too cold.  The Jets lost to the Iggs, but should be able to beat this lowly team in foggy Londontown.  PICK: NYJ

JACKSONVILLE (+9) at INDIANAPOLIS: Plucky Luck and the boys got their first win last week against Tennessee and showed that they have some fight in them after all.  Meanwhile Jacksonville was throttled by the Pats.  I don't see them stopping the Colts at all.  PICK: Indiana

HOUSTON (+6.5) at ATLANTA: The Falcons have feasted on the NFC East for the first three weeks.  Houston will provide a different test as they focus on the run game.  However I think the Falcons will win in the Dome.  PICK: Hotlanta

CAROLINA (-3) at TAMPA BAY: I am actually pretty excited about this game.  Two of the star black quarterbacks in the game facing off.  Carolina has a stingy defense, which will make life difficult for Famous Jameis.  I think he is looking to make up for a stinky game last week though.  The Famous Jameis TD Counter should be rolling closer to 39 this weekend.  PICK: Tampa

NYG (+5.5) at BUFFALO: The NYG had a timely win against the Redskins last week, and are on nine days rest.  For Buffalo, I keep coming back to Tyrod Taylor.  There is no way he leads you to the promised land.  PICK: NYG

OAKLAND (-3) at CHICAGO: The 0-3 Bears have already started to dismantle their team.  Quickest I have ever seen it happen.  I guess that will happen when you get outscored 74-23 over the previous two weeks.  Meanwhile, with Derek Carr at the helm the autumn wind sure seems like a Raider.  PICK: Oakland

PHILADELPHIA (-3) at WASHINGTON: Well, the Iggs showed me something last week but they still didn't look to be at a high gear on offense.  I like this matchup though, as Washington will try to run the ball, but the Eagles run defense has been stout.  Maybe the 'Skins lackluster pass defense will help the Iggs get going on offense.  PICK: Philly

KANSAS CITY (+4) at CINCINNATI: Andy Reid has been showing vintage head coaching form with bad clock management and questionable decisions.  Meanwhile, Cincy just keeps on rolling.  Four points in the Jungle isn't going to help Fat Andy.  PICK: Cincy

CLEVELAND (+7.5) at SAN DIEGO: We have a full blown quarterback controversy in Cleveland.  Although I think we can all agree most of their losses stem from them not being very good, or the curse of the Chud.  7.5 is a good amount to give up for the Chargers, but I think they will take care of it at home.  PICK: San Diego

GREEN BAY (-8.5) at SAN FRANCISCO: My bold prediction for this game is that Rodgers throws his first interception of the year.  It won't matter though, because Kaepernick will probably throw about four picks, and the Pack will win by about 17 points.  PICK: Green Bay

MINNESOTA (+6.5) at DENVER: The Broncos looked pretty good last week, as did the Vikings.  I don't like the Vikes on the road though.  The warship does not travel well over land.  Peyton will pick them apart.  PICK: Broncos

ST. LOUIS (+7) at ARIZONA: Do I even need to say anything?  Just to prove a point, I will make it my NO DOUBTER.  PICK: Arizona

DALLAS (+4) at NEW ORLEANS: The Superdome has lost its significance as this Saints team has fallen off the map.  On paper, they look like the same team that won the Super Bowl a few years back.  But with some bad coaching moves and signings, they are crumbling from the inside; much like the Flanders' house after it was rebuilt after the hurricane (no Katrina pun intended).  I think Dallas would be advised to simply run over the Saints defense, and will probably be able to retain their lead in the NFC East this week.  They were still able to put up 28 points last week despite missing Romo and Dez.  I think they have no problem doing that against the 'Aints. PICK: Dallas

DETROIT (+10) at SEATTLE: I took Seattle giving up big points at home last week.  I guess I should let it ride and take them again.  Detroit hasn't looked very good at all this year, and has committed many turnovers.  The Seahawks should feast on that, especially with all the "12s" going crazy.  That is officially the stupidest nickname in all of sports.  PICK: Seattle

OVERALL: 26-21-1