Thursday, November 19, 2015

Moose's Weekly Picks

An absolutely dreadful performance by Moose last week has me hoping that the law of averages will help me out a little bit this week.  Last week the underdogs had their way, covering 10 out of 14 games and outright winning 9 of those 10 games.  Very bizarre.  Vegas is up to something.  Trying to get their money back from ol' Moose.  Let's try to rectify the situation this week and get the record back over .500 again.

TENNESSEE (+3) at JACKSONVILLE: Mariota got shut down by the Panthers last week, but should have an easier time against the Jags.  Vice versa, the Jags won a wild one in Baltimore last week but should have a tougher time with the Titans.  Honestly, we have to start with Tennessee after a bad week?  PICK: Tennessee

WASHINGTON (+7) at CAROLINA: The Panthers offense looks a lot like the early 2000's Eagles.  Everything runs through the qb who is basically a second running back.  It is tough to stop even with scrubby wide receivers on the outside.  Washington's defense is okay, but in Carolina I can't bet against Cam.  PICK: Carolina Ribs

OAKLAND (-1.5) at DETROIT: Oakland is leaking oil all of a sudden after a few big wins (Side note: often times I catch myself typing "wings" instead of wins).  Meanwhile, Detroit did the improbable and won a football game last week after the great management purge of 2015.  I think Detroit is due for a letdown.  The autumn wind sweeps through Ford Field this weekend.  PICK: Oakland

DALLAS (pick em) at MIAMI: Miami stole one against the Iggs last week.  It won't happen this week with Tony Romo back.  It is a sad state of affairs when I have more confidence in Tony Romo after eight weeks on the shelf than I do in any Eagles quarterback.  PICK: Dallas

INDIANAPOLIS (+6) at ATLANTA: Speaking of teams leaking oil, Atlanta is leaking faster than Burns Slant Drilling Company.  Even without Plucky Luck, I think the Colts win this game.  PICK: Indiana

ST. LOUIS (+2.5) at BALTIMORE: St. Louis is 3-0 against their division and 1-5 against everybody else.  Such a confounding team.  Now throw Case Keenum into the mix.  PICK: Baltimore

NYJ (-2.5) at HOUSTON: The frauds from Houston somehow not only covered against Cincy last week, but beat them straight away.  Meanwhile, the Jets absolutely blew it against Buffalo.  Hoyer questionable for Sunday has me thinking that the Jets have to win this one.  PICK: NYJ

GREEN BAY (+1) at MINNESOTA: Minnesota is 7-2?  How?  Where?  Who told them to say that?  Meanwhile Green Bay is still sputtering.  I think the Vikes put the NFC North in a stranglehold this week.  PICK: Minnesota

TAMPA BAY (+5.5) at PHILADELPHIA: I'm getting sick of watching this Eagles team stink up the joint.  Mistakes left and right, and bar none the worst receiving corps in the NFL.  I will however enjoy watching Famous Jameis operate against them.  No way in hell the Iggs cover 5.5.  Put it down as my No Doubter of the Week.  PICK: TAMPA

DENVER (+1) at CHICAGO: Peyton Manning is OUT for the Broncs.  This is the week of the backup qb: Sanchez, Hasselbeck, Keenum, maybe Yates, and Osweiler.  Osweiler can't be worse than Manning was right?  His name also sounds like Chris Ostreicher aka Oz from American Pie.  Can't pick against those good vibes.  PICK: Denver

CINCINNATI (+5) at ARIZONA: THERE is the Cincy team we know!  Dropping a prime time game at home and looking miserable in the process.  Now they go to the Desert and play an Arizona team that just won a huge Sunday night game in Seattle.  I think everyone knows where I'm going with this.  PICK: Arizona

SAN FRANCISCO (+12.5) at SEATTLE: Here is my question: Can Seattle score enough to win by 12.5?  Follow up question: Can San Francisco score at all?  Real Chinese riddle.  PICK: Seattle

SAN DIEGO (+3) at KANSAS CITY: Don't look now but Dandy Andy and the Chefs have won three in a row, and could make a move on the AFC West.  I'm not sure if San Diego has any players left on their team.  PICK: Kansas

BUFFALO (+7) at NEP: Losing Edelman was a big blow for the NEP, but in the house that the Surgeon built the rule is "next man up."  Meanwhile, a little birdie told me that since 2012 Rex Ryan is something like 4-17 after a win.  This little birdie knows a big head when he sees one, and Rex's head might not fit into the stadium after last week's win.  What a prick.  PICK: NEP

LAST WEEK: 5-9 (audible gasp)
OVERALL: 70-70-6

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