Thursday, December 17, 2015

Moose's Weekly Picks

The engines are humming after a 10-6 week in the trenches.  Being under .500 on No Doubters is disconcerting, but we can only deal with that one game at a time.  Let's keep moving on into a crucial Week 15 for many teams.

TAMPA BAY (+2.5) at ST. LOUIS: I think the Bucs are better than the Rams, but I'm not sure.  Or are the Rams gonna go on a streak to end the season, leading me to think they will be good next year?  That seems more likely.  PICK: St. Louis

NYJ (-3) at DALLAS: Dallas has a shot at the number one pick and I think they go for it.  Meanwhile, Fitzy, Marshall and Decker have become quite a trio on offense.  They should roast the Cowboys pretty good on Sunday.  PICK: NYJ

CHICAGO (+5.5) at MINNESOTA: The Bears lost to the Vikings at home earlier this year.  I think Adrian Peterson could have one of those games this time around.  You know, 200 yards and a couple of tds.  PICK: Minnesota

ATLANTA (+3) at JACKSONVILLE: With nobody home at quarterback for the Colts or Texans, this division could be the Jaguars to win.  Need to see it for my boy Shahid Khan.  Also, can first year coach Dan Quinn get fired after starting 5-0 and finishing 6-10?  PICK: Jacksonville

HOUSTON (+1) at INDIANAPOLIS: TJ Yates versus Charlie Whitehurst?  Or does the plucky one play?  It's not looking like it.  Picking this game without their starting quarterbacks is worse than Homer having to decide between Mountain Dew or crab juice.  PICK: Houston

KANSAS CITY (-7.5) at BALTIMORE: Is Jimmy Clausen playing for the Ravens?  He is?  Oh, then I am taking the Chiefs and making it my No Doubter.  PICK: Kansas

BUFFALO (-1) at WASHINGTON: The Skins are in the driver's seat in the NFC East with the easiest game this week amongst the three division leaders.  Kirk Cousins also plays best at home.  Something tells me the Skins blow it though.  PICK: Buffalo

TENNESSEE (+14) at NEP: Serious question: Who is the Titans running back?  Is it still Bishop Sankey? Why is there a picture of a dentist playing the bagpipes here?  Is anybody reading this? PICK: NEP

ARIZONA (-3.5) at PHILADELPHIA: Tough one to call.  The Cards are not in the desert, and I honestly haven't seen them play too much this season.  I think Larry Fitz is going to abuse the Eagles secondary though, because he always does.  PICK: Zona

CLEVELAND (+14.5) at SEATTLE: Seattle looks like the best team in the NFL right now.  Their defense is back to its usual potency after jettisoning Cary Williams who is a piece of trash.  Somehow, the offense has gotten better after losing Jimmy Graham too.  Addition by subtraction I suppose.  Meanwhile, does Cleveland draft another quarterback this offseason?  PICK: Seattle

CAROLINA (-5) at NYG: This is one of those games I could see the Giants being up for.  A great battle will be Josh Norman versus Odell Beckham.  Screw it, gimme the G Men.  PICK: NYG

GREEN BAY (-3) at OAKLAND: The Packers are going to win this division again unfortunately.  Maybe Khalil Mack can sever Aaron Rodgers spine.  PICK: Green Bay

MIAMI (+1.5) at SAN DIEGO: I am seething at Dan Campbell after losing in fantasy football by four points last week.  He is a monumental dumbass.  I've got a running back that has 85 yards and two touchdowns in the first half, what should I do?  Oh yeah, I should give him the ball only five more times the rest of the game, let Ryan Tannehill suck throwing the ball, and put in guys named Jay Ajayi (what the fuck is that?) and Damien Williams.  Sorry madman Dan, you ain't getting a head coaching gig after this season.  PICK: San Diego

DENVER (+6.5) at PITTSBURGH: John Elway is probably grinding his gigantic teeth right now trying to figure out who to start at quarterback for the Broncos.  I love it.  He brings in one of the best quarterbacks of all-time and he sucks, then replaces him and the replacement sucks.  If this isn't God punishing him for benching Tebow then I don't know what it is.  PICK: Pittsburgh

CINCINNATI (-4.5) at SAN FRANCISCO: I'm kind of interested to see what A.J. McCarron can do at quarterback for Cincy.  But don't let that fool you into thinking that I am actually watching this game.  PICK: Cincy

DETROIT (+3) at NEW ORLEANS: Detroit has checked out, and so have I.  PICK: NEW ORLEANS


1 comment:

  1. Who you gonna pick in our matchup this week Bill? The race for the winners consolation cup runs through us two scallywags