Thursday, December 24, 2015

Moose's Weekly Picks

What a week 15!  My guess is Vegas lost a few bucks last week, and will follow up with a tougher than normal week 16.  Let's try our very best to keep that momentum going though.  After all, it is the season of giving.

SAN DIEGO (+5.5) at OAKLAND: The Raiders have some very good pieces in place for the first time in a long time.  Silver and black coming back baby!  Meanwhile, San Diego basically only has a quarterback, and may have just played their last game in San Diego.  I'm feeling a let down for them this week.  PICK: Oakland

WASHINGTON (+3) at PHILADELPHIA: The Iggs got blown out by Arizona at home last week, but I really didn't think they played that badly (on offense at least).  The Skins meanwhile, are looking like they are worthy of the NFC East playoff spot.  I think this will be a close game, but Washington should be able to run over the Iggs, who are suffering from some key injuries on defense.  Live look at the Skins running game on Saturday night:

  PICK: Washington


NYG (+5.5) at MINNESOTA: Ladell Beckman is suspended for this game, which basically kills the Giants entire offense.  They battled valiantly against Carolina, but I think this game might be moot by the time it is played and the G-Men will fold.  At least Odell can fall back on his track background!  PICK: Minnesota



CHICAGO (+3) at TAMPA BAY: Lovie Bowl!  I dunno, both of these teams stink.  I guess I'll go with Chicago?  PICK: Chicago

CAROLINA (-7) at ATLANTA: Atlanta finally won again last week.  Shocking.  That boy Cam is really playing must watch football this year.  Rumor has it the Panthers are going to bring hockey sticks onto the field this week.  PICK: Carolina

DALLAS (+6) at BUFFALO: Is the Rex honeymoon over in Buffalo already?  I think Dallas can win this game with no Shady McCoy in the backfield for the Bills.  PICK: Dallas

JACKSONVILLE (+3.5) at NEW ORLEANS: Brees out with a torn plantar fascia (the hottest injury of the year), and the Saints playing absolutely zero defense at all makes this one pretty easy on paper.  PICK: Jax

SAN FRANCISCO (+9.5) at DETROIT: The Lions looked okay in the dome last week, but I think the 9ers can keep them within 9.  Dump told me that's why they call them the Niners actually. PICK: San Francisco

CLEVELAND (+11) at KANSAS CITY: Fat Andy has won eight in a row and is challenging for the AFC West title.  Cleveland is awful.  Seems like a No Doubter right?  You don't know Andy like I do.  This is that weird end of season game that he screws up.  PICK: Cleveland

INDIANAPOLIS (+2.5) at MIAMI: Can I pick neither team here?  PICK: Miami

NEP (-3) at NYJ: The Jets played the Pats pretty close in New England when everybody was healthy, but I think BB has got Todd Bowl and Fitzy in his back pocket.  PICK: NEP

HOUSTON (+4.5) at TENNESSEE: Brandon Weeden to the rescue!  Actually, I think Hoyer is back this week.  Mariota is out on the other side.  I don't trust a team with Dickey Bettenberger at quarterback. PICK: Houston



GREEN BAY (+4.5) at ARIZONA: The Iggs knocked Honey badger out for the year last week, but I still can't pick against the Cards in the desert.  PICK: Arizona



ST. LOUIS (+13.5) at SEATTLE: Weeks ago, the Rams beat Seattle in overtime in the Edward Jones dome.  Things have changed since then.  I don't think I can in good conscience pick Jeff Fisher to beat the Seahawks again.  I did consider it though.  Seattle is making another Super Bowl run.  PICK: Seattle

PITTSBURGH (-10) at BALTIMORE: The Ravens are cracking me up right now.  Matt Schaub not cutting it at backup qb?  Enter Jimmy Clausen.  What's that?  He isn't leading you to glory?  Here comes Ryan Mallet.  Ryan Mallet can't even make a team flight, but he is the answer at starting qb.  NO DOUBTER here.  PICK: Pittsburgh

CINCINNATI (+3.5) at DENVER:  Tough call here.  Brock isn't living up to the hype, but the Bengals are on the road and have AJ McCarron starting.  I'll take the Broncos at home I suppose.  PICK: Denver

LAST WEEK: 12-3-1
OVERALL: 115-101-8
NO DOUBTER: 7-8

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Moose's Weekly Picks

The engines are humming after a 10-6 week in the trenches.  Being under .500 on No Doubters is disconcerting, but we can only deal with that one game at a time.  Let's keep moving on into a crucial Week 15 for many teams.

TAMPA BAY (+2.5) at ST. LOUIS: I think the Bucs are better than the Rams, but I'm not sure.  Or are the Rams gonna go on a streak to end the season, leading me to think they will be good next year?  That seems more likely.  PICK: St. Louis


NYJ (-3) at DALLAS: Dallas has a shot at the number one pick and I think they go for it.  Meanwhile, Fitzy, Marshall and Decker have become quite a trio on offense.  They should roast the Cowboys pretty good on Sunday.  PICK: NYJ

CHICAGO (+5.5) at MINNESOTA: The Bears lost to the Vikings at home earlier this year.  I think Adrian Peterson could have one of those games this time around.  You know, 200 yards and a couple of tds.  PICK: Minnesota

ATLANTA (+3) at JACKSONVILLE: With nobody home at quarterback for the Colts or Texans, this division could be the Jaguars to win.  Need to see it for my boy Shahid Khan.  Also, can first year coach Dan Quinn get fired after starting 5-0 and finishing 6-10?  PICK: Jacksonville


HOUSTON (+1) at INDIANAPOLIS: TJ Yates versus Charlie Whitehurst?  Or does the plucky one play?  It's not looking like it.  Picking this game without their starting quarterbacks is worse than Homer having to decide between Mountain Dew or crab juice.  PICK: Houston


KANSAS CITY (-7.5) at BALTIMORE: Is Jimmy Clausen playing for the Ravens?  He is?  Oh, then I am taking the Chiefs and making it my No Doubter.  PICK: Kansas

BUFFALO (-1) at WASHINGTON: The Skins are in the driver's seat in the NFC East with the easiest game this week amongst the three division leaders.  Kirk Cousins also plays best at home.  Something tells me the Skins blow it though.  PICK: Buffalo

TENNESSEE (+14) at NEP: Serious question: Who is the Titans running back?  Is it still Bishop Sankey? Why is there a picture of a dentist playing the bagpipes here?  Is anybody reading this? PICK: NEP

ARIZONA (-3.5) at PHILADELPHIA: Tough one to call.  The Cards are not in the desert, and I honestly haven't seen them play too much this season.  I think Larry Fitz is going to abuse the Eagles secondary though, because he always does.  PICK: Zona

CLEVELAND (+14.5) at SEATTLE: Seattle looks like the best team in the NFL right now.  Their defense is back to its usual potency after jettisoning Cary Williams who is a piece of trash.  Somehow, the offense has gotten better after losing Jimmy Graham too.  Addition by subtraction I suppose.  Meanwhile, does Cleveland draft another quarterback this offseason?  PICK: Seattle

CAROLINA (-5) at NYG: This is one of those games I could see the Giants being up for.  A great battle will be Josh Norman versus Odell Beckham.  Screw it, gimme the G Men.  PICK: NYG

GREEN BAY (-3) at OAKLAND: The Packers are going to win this division again unfortunately.  Maybe Khalil Mack can sever Aaron Rodgers spine.  PICK: Green Bay

MIAMI (+1.5) at SAN DIEGO: I am seething at Dan Campbell after losing in fantasy football by four points last week.  He is a monumental dumbass.  I've got a running back that has 85 yards and two touchdowns in the first half, what should I do?  Oh yeah, I should give him the ball only five more times the rest of the game, let Ryan Tannehill suck throwing the ball, and put in guys named Jay Ajayi (what the fuck is that?) and Damien Williams.  Sorry madman Dan, you ain't getting a head coaching gig after this season.  PICK: San Diego

DENVER (+6.5) at PITTSBURGH: John Elway is probably grinding his gigantic teeth right now trying to figure out who to start at quarterback for the Broncos.  I love it.  He brings in one of the best quarterbacks of all-time and he sucks, then replaces him and the replacement sucks.  If this isn't God punishing him for benching Tebow then I don't know what it is.  PICK: Pittsburgh

CINCINNATI (-4.5) at SAN FRANCISCO: I'm kind of interested to see what A.J. McCarron can do at quarterback for Cincy.  But don't let that fool you into thinking that I am actually watching this game.  PICK: Cincy

DETROIT (+3) at NEW ORLEANS: Detroit has checked out, and so have I.  PICK: NEW ORLEANS

LAST WEEK: 10-6
OVERALL:103-98-7
NO DOUBTER: 6-8

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Moose's Weekly Picks

7-9 last week with the playoffs looming and my record teetering ever so close to .500.  Let's call in Matt Foley to get us BACK ON THE RIGHT TRACK after that.  Teams are jockeying for playoff position this week, while others will begin to take a long winter's nap into that first overall pick in the draft.  Let's try and break it down something proper.

MINNESOTA (+11) at ARIZONA: At first you are like' "11 points?  Aren't the Vikes 8-4?"  Good first instincts, but the Vikings eight wins come against teams with a combined record of 34-47.  Their four losses have come against teams with a combined record of 29-19 (partially skewed by the lowly Niners).  Arizona has a winning record, and this game is in the Desert.  GIMME Zona.  PICK: Arizona

PITTSBURGH (+3) at CINCINNATI: I am looking for Pittsburgh to re-stake their claim to this division on Sunday.  Big Ben has three bonafide targets at WR, and Deangelo Williams has not missed a beat filling in for Leveon Bell.  The Bengals haven't played anybody good since they stubbed their toes two weeks in a row against Houston and Arizona.  PICK: Pittsburgh

BUFFALO (-1.5) at PHILADELPHIA: Well, the Iggs pulled off the improbable last week against the pitter Pats.  I was more shocked than anybody.  It was like the two teams switched places last week.  Very strange.  Anyway, another week and another AFC East foe.  Rule of thumb after a Rex win is a loss the next week.  I'll take that bait.  PICK: Philadelphia

ATLANTA (+7.5) at CAROLINA: The Panthers blew what seemed like an easy No Doubter for me last week.  This week I think they continue to roll, and Atlanta continues their downfall.  I am also continually amazed by Cam Newton.  On a weekly basis he makes a play that defies the physical abilities of a human being.  He also seems like a nice guy.  PICK: Carolina

SAN FRANCISCO (+1.5) at CLEVELAND: The thought of watching this game makes me sicker than Homer was after eating the expired Kwik-E-Mart ham.  PICK: San Francisco


WASHINGTON (+3) at CHICAGO: Washington stinks on the road.  The Bears stink at home.  Something's got to give.  I'll take the Skins I suppose.  PICK: Washington

DETROIT (-2.5) at ST. LOUIS: At first I thought the Rams made out like bandits on the Foles deal.  Then I thought it was a wash (2nd round pick not withstanding).  Now is it possible the Eagles won that deal?  I suppose we'll find out in the next few games.  Anyway, in this one I will go with the team with Calvin Johnson and Matt Stafford over the team with Case Keenum and Wes Welker.  Make it my No Doubter.  PICK: Detroit

SAN DIEGO (+10) at KANSAS CITY: Kansas City and Fat Andy are on a hot streak, but 10 points is a lot to give up to a division rival.  Especially a division rival with Big Phil Rivers at quarterback.  PICK: San Diego

NEW ORLEANS (+4) at TAMPA BAY: I've been mulling this one over in my head for a while.  The Saints defense is god awful, but Famous Jameis isn't exactly lighting the world on fire in terms of td passes.  I guess I will still bet on the famous one though.  Also, I apologize for not posting the Jameis touchdown counter last week.  PICK: Tampa


INDIANAPOLIS (+1) at JACKSONVILLE: Is plucky Luck back yet?  Easier test for the Colts this week, and Hasselbeck beat them last time.  PICK: Indy

TENNESSEE (+7) at NYJ: Fuck Tennessee. All hail Fitzy! PICK: NYJ

NEP (-3) at HOUSTON: Gronk was seen practicing this week.  That is a good thing for football.  I can't remember the last time the Pats lost three in a row.  BB has O'Brien in his back pocket.  PICK: NEP

OAKLAND (+7.5) at DENVER: The Silver and Black were contenders for a hot minute, but have fallen to 5-7 on the year.  I see the Brockos taking them to school.  PICK: Denver

DALLAS (+7) at GREEN BAY: Did the Packers get their mojo back last week?  If it means they beat Dallas this week, I hope so.  A Rod should be able to pick apart the Dallas defense at Lambeau.  PICK: Green Bay

SEATTLE (-9) at BALTIMORE: Live look at Seattle:

PICK: Seattle

NYG (-1) at Miami: Gotta think the NYG are able to beat the Phins.  Coughlin, pull your damn head outta your ass for one game.  PICK: NYG

LAST WEEK: 7-9
OVERALL: 93-92-7
NO DOUBTER: 6-7





Thursday, December 3, 2015

Moose's Weekly Picks

We're back to full power after a weird Thanksgiving week where I was banished to the basement to survive on only Mountain Dew and Funyuns.  In that primordial state of sensory deprivation, I was able to bear down on my picks however.  My prediction that Calvin Johnson would torch the Iggs secondary proved sublime, and MWP are back in the black overall.  Let's try to keep the momentum going with some tough to call matchups this week.

GREEN BAY (-3) at DETROIT: Green Bay has looked pretty blah as of late.  Their offense hasn't been revved up all season long, and their defense doesn't scare anyone.  I'll take the monsters of Motor City to keep it going this week.  PICK: Detroit

SAN FRANCISCO (+7) at CHICAGO: The Niners have not won on the road all season long.  I expect that trend to continue this week.  PICK: Chicago

CINCINNATI (-9.5) at CLEVELAND: Omg barf.  Does John Football see the field this week?  Trick question: nobody cares.  PICK: Cincy

JACKSONVILLE (+2.5) at TENNESSEE: Jacksonville has some spunk.  They are not just rolling over every game.  Tennessee I hate.  Therefore I will choose the Jags.  Look for big Julius Thomas to get loose in the red zone area.  PICK: JAX

HOUSTON (+3) at BUFFALO: The Bills are coming off of a tough three game road trip and need a big win at home.  The Texans have won four or five in a row despite my doubts about them.  Perhaps Big Vince has taken control of that locker room.  This is a tough call, but I will take Big Rex to keep his playoff hopes alive.  PICK: Buffalo

BALTIMORE (+4) at MIAMI: Baltimore stole a win last week in Cleveland, but still has Matt Schaub at qb.  Miami has looked dreadful the past few weeks though.  I still can't in good conscience bet on Schaub.  PICK: Miami

CAROLINA (-7) at NEW ORLEANS: Uncle Frank?  Is this a joke?  Seriously am I missing something here?  No Doubter.  PICK: Carolina


SEATTLE (pick em) at MINNESOTA: Two strong defenses and good running games.  This is a for sure toss up.  Seattle doesn't play well on the road, but methinks Minnesota is quite as good as their record would indicate.  PICK: Seattle

ARIZONA (-6) at ST. LOUIS: Seems like a home run, no-brainer for Arizona right?  Hold on there juuuuuuust a minute.  The Rams are 3-0 against the NFC West, and beat the Cardinals in the desert believe it or not.  I'll take the Rams and the points, but I wouldn't be surprised if they get blown out.  PICK: St. Louis

ATLANTA (+1.5) at TAMPA BAY: Everybody is jumping on Matt Ryan this week as if he has gotten off scot-free his whole career for the Falcons struggles.  Truth is, the whole team has stunk lately.  I don't see their troubles ending this week though.  Famous Jameis has that Bucs offense humming.  PICK: Tampa

NYG (+2) at NYJ: Koey's seeing double here!  No idea who to root for!  This is going to be a tougher decision for him than when Homer had to decide between Kodos or Kang for president.  PICK: NYG


SAN DIEGO (+4) at DENVER: This is Brock's tour; and now it's Brock's turn.  Ostreicher won a big game at home last week against the Pats with the help of some dubious penalties.  No matter though, easier game this week.  Should be a W for the Broncs.  PICK: Denver

KANSAS CITY (-3) at OAKLAND: Andy has got his boys on a winning streak.  I think they keep it going this week.  God I wish the Eagles had kept Maclin.  PICK: Kansas

PHILADELPHIA (+9.5) at NEP: The Pats are gonna dust em.  Doesn't matter who is injured.  If I had to pick somebody to have a big game, I would guess Blount.  PICK: NEP

INDIANAPOLIS (+7) at PITTSBURGH: The Hasselbeck show rolls on!  Big Ben is coming back from a concussion, but I think they finally put an end to the Hasselbeck reign of terror.  PICK: Pittsburgh

DALLAS (+4.5) at WASHINGTON: Is Washington really going to win the NFC East this year?  It's beginning to look that way.  Ugh.  PICK: Washington

LAST (2) WEEK(S): 16-13-1
OVERALL: 86-83-7
NO DOUBTER: 6-6