Sunday, September 25, 2016

Moose's Weekly Picks

Not a great week last week, and I missed the Thursday night game again this week.  Time to kick this thing into high gear in week 3. 

DENVER (+3.5) at CINCINNATI: Denver had looked flawless at home so far this season even with a rookie quarterback.  I'm thinking young Trevor might take his lumps on the road this week though.  PICK: Cincy

OAKLAND (-1.5) at TENNESSEE:  I feel like these teams play each other every week.  Didn't they play each other in week 1?  Probably.  You know I'm staying with my boy Mark Davis.  PICK: Oakland

ARIZONA (-4.5) at BUFFALO: The clock is ticking for Rex.  PICK: Arizona

BALTIMORE (-2.5) at JACKSONVILLE: Baltimore hasn't done much offensively this season, but is 2-0 nonetheless.  The Jags have yet to take it to the limit or steal the show.  PICK: Baltimore

CLEVELAND (+9.5) at MIAMI: Miami threatened in the second half last week, and Tannehill seems to be establishing some rapport with his young receivers.  I wonder if the Browns are still happy about passing on Carson Wentz.  PICK: Miami

WASHINGTON (+3.5) at NYG:  Tricky game.  The Skins need a win on the road.  I think Josh Norman will probably overshadow the team needs though, and Kirk Cousins will continue to show regression.  PICK: NYG

DETROIT (+6.5) at GREEN BAY: The Packers have looked shaky the first two weeks to be sure.  I think playing at home will cure some of those ills.  PICK: Green Bay

MINNESOTA (+6.5) at CAROLINA: Tough test for Sam Bradford on the road here.  I don't think the Vikings can keep up with the Panthers offense.  It should be closer than 6.5 though.  PICK: Vikings

SAN FRANCISCO (+10) at SEATTLE: Welcome to the NFC West Chip Kelly.  The Seahawks right the ship at home.  PICK: Seattle

LOS ANGELES (+3.5) at TAMPA BAY: Jameis was terrible last week, while the Rams stunned Seattle.  A big win by Jeff Fisher is usually followed by a confounding loss, so I'll take the Bucs.  PICK: Tampa

PITTSBURGH (-4) at PHILADELPHIA: Huge test for the Iggs here.  The defense has been great so far, but I don't think they will be able to keep up with the Steelers offense.  On offense, just let Carson Wentz survive.  PICK: Pittsburgh

NYJ (+3) at KANSAS CITY: The Jets are starting to look pretty good overall with several key players returning to their lineup.  I expect this one to be a field goal-y kind of game.  Gimme the Jets.  PICK: NYJ

SAN DIEGO (+2) at INDIANAPOLIS: Indy had a chance last week in Denver, but got burned by a few big turnovers.  Meanwhile, I think Phil Rivers is going to have to hand off to Phil Rivers, and pass to Phil Rivers today.  PICK: Indy

CHICAGO (+6.5) at DALLAS: Chicago is an abomination of a team.  PICK: Dallas (No Doubter)

ATLANTA (+2.5) at NEW ORLEANS: In the dome.  Tricky one.  I'll take Matthew Ice.  PICK: Atlanta

OVERALL: 14-17

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Moose's Weekly Picks

Ok, after an 8-8 week last week I bricked and forgot to make my posts by Thursday afternoon.  I can assure you though, I did pick the Jets in that game.  I won't take credit for it because that would be dishonest, but the proof is in the pudding:
See, I told you so.  Too bad for me,but now I have 15 games to make up for that gaffe and am essentially on even footing after week one.  I am 0-1 in the No Doubter column after the Pats pulled the upset in the Desert of all places.  Need to be better there.  Let's get into it.

TENNESSEE (+6.5) at DETROIT: The Lions won in a thriller against the Colts last week, and the Titans are basically a mini version of the Colts.  With that said, 6.5 seems like a lot to lay on the line.  I'll go Tight-ones here.  PICK: Tennessee

KANSAS CITY (+1) at HOUSTON: Speaking of thrillers, Fat Andy did some damage to his heart last week after that comeback against San Diego.  The Texans handled the Bears, but I'm still not sold on Ostreicher.  PICK: Kansas

MIAMI (+6) at NEP: The Pats defense seemed legit in week one against Arizona.  If they could bottle up 'Zona, they should have no problem at home against Tannehill.  Tannehill is kind of a bottle guy anyway.  I just hope big Suh doesn't try to kill Garoppolo.  PICK: NEP

BALTIMORE (-4.5) at CLEVELAND: The Browns versus the old Browns.  While they sprung from the same womb, the two teams couldn't be more different.  The Browns looked putrid last week, and RGIII is already out for the year (LOL).  Meanwhile, the Ravens have an ELITE Joe Flacco and seem healthy.  At least the Indians play at 1:10pm.  PICK: Baltimore (No Doubter)

CINCINNATI (+3) at PITTSBURGH: Bad blood here.  Hoping to get to see a little bit of this game.  James Harrison is on one of these teams, I cant remember which one.  He will aim to decapitate someone from the other team.  Other than that, these teams are extremely similar.  Gimme Ben in a pinch though.  PICK: Pittsburgh

DALLAS (+3) at WASHINGTON: I hate both of these teams.  At this point, I think I hate Washington more.  PICK: Dallas

NEW ORLEANS (+4) at NYG: This was a shootout last year.  I'm thinking that a change of location and a somewhat improved Giants defense will change the outcome a bit.  I shall choose the NYG.  PICK: NYG

SAN FRANCISCO (+12.5) at CAROLINA: File Chip Kelly under: things I hate almost as much as the Cowboys and Redskins.  With that said, 12.5 points is so much.  I think I'm gonna take the Chipper.  PICK: SF

TAMPA BAY (+7) at ARIZONA: Oh my god.  Jameis in the Desert.  Trying to decide between these two outstanding forces has me more stuck than Homer in the vending machines.
PICK: Tampa

SEATTLE (-5.5) at LAR: It seems well established that we shouldn't trust Jeff Fisher's Rams after, without hyperbole, the worst performance I have ever seen last week.  People seem to think that the Rams will come out and beat Seattle this week.  I'm not buying it.  Bury the Rams, fire Fisher.  PICK: Seattle

INDIANAPOLIS (+6.5) at DENVER: Indy has seemed to have Denver's number recently.  The Colts have won 8 of the last 9 games between these two teams.  After dispatching the Panthers last week, the Broncos look like world beaters.  I think Trevor Siemian sees how the other half lives in week 2.  PICK: Indy

ATLANTA (+4) at OAKLAND: Huge win in Week 1.  A man, a plan, a van.  OAKLAND.  PICK: Oakland

JACKSONVILLE (+3) at SAN DIEGO: Eww.  Gimme the Jags to take it to the limit.  PICK: Jacksonville

GREEN BAY (-1) at MINNESOTA: Salami Sam looks good in purple, but I think the Vikes will be blue after this game.  He is going to struggle.  PICK: Green Bay

PHILADELPHIA(+3) at CHICAGO: I get excited about our quarterback every year, but after last week I am thinking about Super Bowls.  Delusional Eagles fan level is probably at about 83% after only one week.  Keep it going against a bad defense this week.  PICK: Philadelphia


Thursday, September 8, 2016

Moose's Weekly Picks

::coughs while blowing dust off of blog:: Ok!  We're back here at global corporate headquarters of TPLIYP!  Last season we learned a lot.  The No Doubter record was not as good, but the overall record was better than .500 (take that Vegas!).  I can't give you exact numbers on either because I am way too lazy, but suffice it to say we did good. Just good. We also met a lot of new characters, including the BB-8, the Famous Jameis touchdown counter, and the deep desolate DESERT in Arizona.  Let's take these with us, and add some new features in what is shaping up to be a great 2016 season.  To the games!

CAROLINA (-3) at DENVER: Super Bowl rematch right off the bat!  We are dealing with two forces here: the Super Bowl loss hangover, and the rookie quarterback struggles.  Now Peyton Manning did not set the world on fire as the Broncos qb last year, but in the stretch run he didn't make a lot of mistakes either.  I think Trevor Siemian might struggle out of the gate trying to do too much.  Look for Cam and the Panthers to get a measure of revenge tonight.  PICK: Carolina Ribs

TAMPA BAY (+3) at ATLANTA: Lovie Smith was fired in the offseason, and the Bucs promoted qb guru Dirk Koetter to coach the Famous One and Co.  I think Jameis takes a big step forward this year.  Some experts are even projecting him for 27 touchdowns.  Meanwhile, the Falcons stay mired in mediocrity.  PICK: Tampa

(but ready to shoot right up)

MINNESOTA (-2.5) at TENNESSEE: The Vikings chances took a big hit when Teddy Bridgewater's knee fell into troubled water.  They traded for Salami Sam Bradford, but is he really better than the Shaun Hill Gang?  I'm not so sure.  Regardless, I still think the Bikes march into to Nashville and thrash the Titans.  PICK: Minnesota

CLEVELAND (+4) at PHILADELPHIA: Eagles fans have special powers.  We have the ability to whip ourselves into a frenzy each year, regardless of what our team looks like.  Whatever the kool-aid is, we drink it and become convinced somehow that our team will be good.  This year is no different.  We have a new coach who isn't a shy know-it-all.  Our defense should be dominant, and we have a rookie qb ready to take the reins.  The pundits hated the signing, but I've come to become a big fan of Doug Pederson.  Maybe if only because he is a pretty even keel guy.  Doesn't try to do too much.  Knows what he knows, knows what he doesn't know.  Goes about his job every day.  Kind of like an inanimate carbon rod.  Well, I say "In Rod We Trust!"  PICK: Iggs

CINCINNATI (-2.5) at NYJ: Steady Marvin at the helm.  You can count on this team to go 10-6 and lose in the playoffs.  Meanwhile, the Jets added Matt Forte and brought back Fitzy.  Should be a good game.  I guess I'll take Cincy?  PICK: Cincy

OAKLAND (+1) at NEW ORLEANS: The Silver and Black are back Jack!  The Raiders are going to be my sweethearts this year.  How could you ever bet against this man:
And his van:
A man, a plan, a van: the 2016 RAIDERS.  PICK: Oakland

SAN DIEGO (+6.5) at KANSAS CITY: Andy Reid is a good man and a good coach.  The Chargers are getting pretty old and rickety.  Gimme Big Red in Arrowhead til I'm dead.  PICK: Kansas

BUFFALO (+3) at BALTIMORE:  Flacco is bacco.  The Bills just gave T-Mobile a huge contract extension.  I don't see that playing out well.  Also, sometimes you just have to look at the obvious.  This is a game featuring Super Bowl champion head coach John Harbaugh against the two dopey Ryan brothers.  PICK: Baltimore

CHICAGO (+6) at HOUSTON: I don't really like John Fox as a coach, but I think he will make this Bears team respectable.  Meanwhile, I don't think Brock Ostreicher is the answer to anything but "Who is the best player on the East Great Falls High lacrosse team?"  PICK: Chicago

GREEN BAY (-5.5) at JACKSONVILLE: Madman Shahir Khan is starting to build something down in Jacksonville.  Blake Bortles seems like the real deal at quarterback, and the "take it to the limit" fan gave the team an identity they sorely needed.  Neither of those things is going to help them against Rajahs and the Pack though.  PICK: Green Bay

MIAMI (+10.5) at SEATTLE: How many games into this season until Tannehill gets benched?  He is clearly not the guy.  Seattle is going to demolish them this weekend.  PICK: Seattle

NYG (pick em) at DALLAS: With Romo injured in record time for Dallas, Dak Prescott now has a chance to be the guy.  He's got all the weapons in place, but I don't think he will be quite as good as he showed in the preseason.  Even though they scored like four points in the preseason, I'm taking the NYG here.  PICK: NYG

DETROIT (+3.5) at INDIANAPOLIS: Two things I don't get coming into this season: the hype surrounding the Colts yet again, and the lofty expectations for Matthew Stafford.  Both will underwhelm.  PICK: Detroit

NEP (+6) at ARIZONA: We in the desert baby!  As if that wasn't enough, the Pats are without Tom Brady.  If the preseason was any indication, Jimmy Garoppolo is toast in this game.  PICK: Arizona (No Doubter)
(Garoppolo's car)

PITTSBURGH (-3) at WASHINGTON: Late last year we established that the Redskins hadn't played anybody good to get to 9-7 and win the NFC East.  They then proceeded to get stomped by the Packers in the playoffs.  Up against another big test in Pittsburgh, I think the Skins flounder again.  Also, I can't wait for Josh Norman to be a bust.  PICK: Pittsburgh

LOS ANGELES (-2.5) at SAN FRANCISCO: Remember before when I was talking about the Ryan brothers as coaches.  The same theory rings true for the Rams.  After watching Hard Knocks, it appears that they are coached by a pretty large collection of imbeciles led by Jeff Fisher and Gregg Williams.  Fortunately this week, they are facing an equal match in Chip Kelly and his band of nitwits.  If the Raiders are my darlings this year, these two teams will be deep in my doghouse.  PICK: LA

Enjoy week 1 everybody!