Thursday, November 17, 2016

Moose's Weekly Picks

I started out strong last week, but faded in the late games to finish at 7-7 for the week.  Not a complete catastrophe, but things looked so promising in the early offing.  Oh well, the work goes on.  Let's keep the good vibes going this week.

NEW ORLEANS (+3.5) at CAROLINA: Both of these teams got stung by some late-game heroics by their opponents last week.  Carolina is starting to somewhat resemble the Super Bowl runner ups from last year though.  I like them to knock off the Saints on Thursday night.  PICK: Carolina Ribs

TENNESSEE (+3) at INDIANAPOLIS: Marcus Mariota and Demarco Murray demolished the Packers last week.  This week they face a similar team in the Colts with AFC South bragging rights on the line.  The Titans keep rolling.  PICK: Tennessee

JACKSONVILLE (+6.5) at DETROIT: Who would have thought the Lions would be at the top of the NFC North heap in week 11?  Not me, but here we are.  #notmyjimcaldwell  PICK: Detroit

TAMPA BAY (+7.5) at KANSAS CITY: Fat Andy and his boys are 4-0 at home this season, but the Bucs are 3-1 on the road.  This should be a good game, but I think Andy has some tricks up his sleeve for friend of the blog Jameis Winston.  Look for Tyreek "Reek" Hill to have a big game.  PICK: Kansas

CHICAGO (+7.5) at NYG: The G-Men need to take advantage of all of these home games they have now because four out of their last six are on the road.  No Alshon Jeffery for Chicago?  No thanks.  PICK: NYG
JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: It is well known that people in the midwest are much fatter than people on the East coast.  Probably the deep dish pizza.  That should give the Giants the edge.  PICK: NYG

ARIZONA (+2) at MINNESOTA: Oh dolly are the Minnesota Vikings reeling.  Four losses in a row and now they get a hungry Cardinals team.  Sam Bradford might die in this game.  PICK: Arizona (No Doubter)

BUFFALO (+2.5) at CINCINNATI: The Bengals are such a boring team.  If AJ Green doesn't have 200 yards and 2 touchdowns they don't win.  Look for Rex and the boys to run them over.  PICK: Buffalo

BALTIMORE (+7) at DALLAS: God I thought the Steelers had the Cowboys beaten last week.  I don't think the Ravens have the firepower to stay with them this week.  PICK: DALLAS
JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: Similar to the city of Baltimore, the majority of the population of the Ravens are criminals.  Those are just facts.  I saw the Wire.  PICK: DALLAS

PITTSBURGH (-8) at CLEVELAND: Nothing boosts your spirits after a tough loss like a game against the Brownies.  Pittsburgh should be right back in the mix for the AFC North after this week.  PICK: Pittsburgh

MIAMI (-1.5) at LA RAMS: Goff dynasty baby!  The Rams average 15 points a game.  That's bad.  Time to see what the kid can do.  I personally think he might suck.  PICK: Dolphins

NEW ENGLAND (-13) at SAN FRANCISCO: Chip managed to knock off the Pats last season, but not so this year.  Brady is back home in California, and out for blood after a tough home loss last week.  Chipper can put that ninth straight loss on the board.  PICK: NEP

PHILADELPHIA (+6.5) at SEATTLE: The Eagles showed resolve in a big win against the Falcons last week, but that was at home.  This team doesn't perform well on the road, let alone in one of the toughest road environments in the NFL.  I gotta go with Seattle.  PICK: Seattle
JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: Moose picked against his own team?  Man he is a bigger fraud than RFK.  I like Seattle too though.  PICK: Seattle

GREEN BAY (+2.5) at WASHINGTON: Green Bay just doesn't have it this year.  They are similar to the Colts in that they don't seem to address areas of weakness in the offseason well at all.  Look for that bitch boy Kirk to have another good game at home.  PICK: Washington
JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: Big game for the Skins.  Might have to watch with that pretty boy Shears.  Gotta go for the cheeseheads here in honor of my jeans stench.  PICK: Green Bay

OAKLAND (-5.5) vs. HOUSTON: Hola! This game is coming at you live from Mexico City!  Look for Los Asaltantes to score in a muy rapido fashion against Los Tejanos.  Senor Derek Coche will be playing the part of Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna as he massacres the boys in rojo y azul.  PICK: Oakland

OVERALL: 47-52-3

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Moose's Weekly Picks

The bye weeks are over (I think) and teams are beginning to make their playoff push as we enter the second half of the season.  We ended last week in the black.  Let's go for two in a row.

CLEVELAND (+8) at BALTIMORE: I took Cleveland +7 against Dallas last week.  Damn right I'm taking them +8 this week.  They won't win but they will keep it close enough.  PICK: Cleveland

HOUSTON (+1.5) at JACKSONVILLE: Houston was on bye last week.  They should be ready for the high-powered Jaguars offense.  Could this be the last stop for the Gus Bus?  PICK: Houston

KANSAS CITY (+3) at CAROLINA: I'm sick and tired of hearing the Panthers complain about hits on Cam Newton.  Do a better job of protecting his ass.  PICK: Kansas

DENVER (+3) at NEW ORLEANS: I was surprised the Broncos lost last week.  I think they right the ship against the Saints this week.  The Dome is always tricky though.  PICK: Denver

LOS ANGELES (+1.5) at NYJ: Jeff Fisher is now two games under .500.  He desperately needs a win.  Could Jared Goff make his first appearance of the season?  What about Bryce Petty?  It would make this shitty game a lot more interesting if they did.  PICK: LAR

ATLANTA (-2) at PHILADELPHIA: The Eagles were who we thought they were last week.  Dougie P's decisions are starting to get more and more confusing.  Somehow though, home games have managed to cure all ills.  Julio Jones will no doubt romp, but I think the Iggs get the win.  PICK: Philadelphia
JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: This game in Philly?  I couldn't walk anywhere in that city.  Too dangerous.  I'd have to take an Uber all the way through.  PICK: Atlanta

MINNESOTA (+2.5) at WASHINGTON: Minnesota's offensive line is abysmal, and Sam Bradford looks like the Sam Bradford we all know and love.  Look for Ryan Kerrigan to light him up at some point.  PICK: Washington
JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: I wonder if those pussies Dump and Shears will want to meet up for the game.  Come to think of it, Dump has only hung out with me once since he moved here.  Maybe it's because my jeans smell like cheese.  PICK: Washington

GREEN BAY (-2.5) at TENNESSEE: Bad loss to the Colts last week, but A-Rod and co. look to be working better on offense.  I think the Pack pull this one out.  PICK: Green Bay

CHICAGO (-1.5) at TAMPA BAY: The Bears are a different team with Cutty from the cut at quarterback.  However, I think Jameis should be able to eat their defense alive.  PICK: Tampa (No Doubter)

MIAMI (+4) at SAN DIEGO: Both of these teams have come on strong lately and could make a surprise playoff push.  Jayjay Ajayi is a monster out of the Phins backfield.  I like Big Phil and the Chargers at home though.  PICK: San Diego

SAN FRANCISCO (+13.5) at ARIZONA: The first big line of the year.  Why didn't Cleveland get at least this much last week?  It's no secret that I am enjoying the denouement of Chip Kelly.  I hope they lose by 30 in the Desert.  PICK: Arizona

DALLAS (+2.5) at PITTSBURGH: The one-time Super Bowl contending Steelers have now lost three in a row and are sitting at 4-4.  They are at home, need a win, and Big Ben is presumably healthy.  I think they knock Dallas off this week.  PICK: Pittsburgh
JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: I didn't think Primanti Brothers was anything special.  The second I got my order I said "not sure about the bread."  Mighty Subs or GTFO.  PICK: Dallas

SEATTLE (+7.5) at NEP: Game of the week right here.  BB is 12-4 with the Patriots after a bye week.  They go 12-4 every season though so that doesn't say much.  The Seahawks have played better on offense, but the defense is giving up more points than they have in the past.  That doesn't bode well against the potent NEP offense.  PICK: NEP

CINCINNATI (pick em) at NYG: NYG played well last week, but would have lost if the Eagles had made the right calls.  Cincy is 1-3 on the road this year.  The G Men are 3-1 at home.  Look for Ladell to have a big game. PICK: NYG
JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: I once saw my friend Moose puke all over a garage in Cincinnati.  I would have taken a perv pic, but my phone was dead.  It was nine in the morning.  PICK: NYG

LAST WEEK: 6-5-1
OVERALL: 40-45-3

Friday, November 4, 2016

Moose's Weekly Picks

Well folks, this season is not going so great.  I was 6-9 two weeks ago, and missed last week's action altogether.  Another shaky week and this blog could fall completely by the wayside.  I will try to be more committed going forward.  One game at a time.  Let's go!

JACKSONVILLE (+7.5) at KANSAS CITY: Interesting game with Foles under center.  He looked ok last week, and we know what he is capable of.  Easier game with him at home.  PICK: Kansas

DETROIT (+6) at MINNESOTA: Minnesota looked invincible for five weeks.  Now they look putrid.  I think Detroit adds to their woes here.  PICK: Detroit

PHILADELPHIA (+2.5) at NYG: It is known that this Eagles team does not travel well.  With Josh Huff being released this week, the offense becomes somehow even worse.  Also, I am extremely worried about the Giants edge rushers.  But it could also be one of those games where Dougie P completely redeems himself.  I gotta call it like I see it though.  PICK: NYG

JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: I'm not a big cheesesteak guy.  I like the components, but never together.  However, it's well known that New York doesn't have any good corner delis.  PICK: Philadelphia

DALLAS (-7) at CLEVELAND: I don't know what it is, but for some reason this game is raising a flag in my head as too obvious.  There is no way Dallas loses though, right?  Something is weird; the line should be double.  Vegas knows something. I can't believe I'm doing this. PICK: Cleveland

JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: I picked Cleveland to win the World Series, can't believe they didn't win.  Tribe!  Most people from Dallas are not actually from there, so I'll take them.  PICK: Dallas

NYJ (+3.5) at MIAMI: Jay Ajayi is a beast.  Or is it just that he has braids so I assume he is really good and fast?  Gimme that fish!  PICK: Miami

PITTSBURGH (-1) at BALTIMORE: Rumor has it Ben is back this week.  The Ravens lost to the damn Jets two weeks ago.  That's bad.  PICK: Pittsburgh

NEW ORLEANS (-4.5) at SAN FRANCISCO: Five of the 49ers six losses have come by double digits.  Things are not looking great for the old Chipper.  PICK: New Orleans

CAROLINA (-3) at LA RAMS: The Rams are 3-4.  You know what that means.  PICK: LAR

INDIANAPOLIS (+7.5) at GREEN BAY: When is Pagano going to get canned?  Meanwhile the Packers are slowly putting it together.  PICK: Green Bay

TENNESSEE (+5) at SAN DIEGO: I feel like the Chargers are this year's Titans for me.  I don't think I've picked them correctly all season.  They fact that they are playing the Titans makes it even worse.  PICK: San Diego

DENVER (+1) at OAKLAND: Oakland is 6-2 and atop the AFC West, but look at their six wins.  The Jags, Ravens, Bucs, Saints, Chargers and Titans are a combined 18-27.  I'll take Denver with Demarcus Ware back in action.  PICK: Denver (No Doubter)

JOHN LOADS GUEST PICK: Akeem Talib plays for Denver.  He makes bad decisions.  I'm going with the Raiders.  Their owner seems like a real bozo.  PICK: Oakland

BUFFALO (+7) at SEATTLE: Throw the damn ball to Jimmy Graham for me!  Seattle is a little dinged up this week.  I think they get the win at home, but it will be close.  PICK: Buffalo

OVERALL: 34-40-2